BareFootInTheBackYard

To Blog Or Not To Blog

2011-03-13T20:19:00.001-07:00

...That is the question. I'm having clear moments of inspiration...but ooohhh...do I REALLY wanna lay it all out there again for the world to see???? You know my life...I've ALWAYS got something to say and plenty of words to use to say it!!!

Smooooth As Silk

2010-08-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

And EASY as pie :) that is how our first few weeks of school have gone. We are going full steam ahead. She has plowed through her reading book and workbooks (two are finished already! Woo hoo!) we seem to be making progress in grammar (hallelujah), Bible is always an easy fun subject. We read Felicity, Catwings, and are currently reading Stone Fox. So far, they've all been hits. We are easing into spelling and so far so good. Ugh...and as I sit here typing the wimeriner next door is whining like a cow in heat. He does this EVERY morning and it makes me want to get my shotgun out. Anyway, I digress. Princess is doing fabulous, I'm doing fabulous, and Tadpole is...currently walking around in my heels..surprisingly well! I got a job yesterday, I'll be serving at a local restaurant part time, so I can still homeschool. Hopefully I'll be able to show them all my razzle dazzle, and they'll tip great so we can stay afloat. So, all in all, things are great! My family is healthy and safe, my friends are always a phone call or text away, and the majority of my family is as rude and hateful as ever! Life is as it usually is :)

They Make My World Go Round

2010-08-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

He has gone potty several times lately! He may actually be potty trained soon! But, sometimes when I think he's being my good little boy in the bathroom, I discover this. He fills the sink with water and soap, then sits in it...fully clothed. He has done this several times...that child could live in water if I'd let him.

My "tween". I can't believe my daughter is so big :( Wasn't it just yesterday she was an infant at my breast??

He has mastered the art of posing. Thanks Tadpole.

He's still posing. And please note all the things Princess is carrying. She loads all that stuff up even to just go to the bathroom.

Pokemon card trading is serious business

Don't Forget To Remember

2010-08-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been praying...a lot. Mostly my cries to heaven have been for forgiveness. The shame I feel about things I've done in my life is staggering. It makes me weep, it makes me embarrassed, it makes me feel like Eve in the garden that fateful day and hearing Father say, "Where are you?"...even though He knows exactly where I am. Very recently my prayers have shifted to the desire for clarity. I've asked to see what the friends I have loved so dearly have seen but chose to walk away from me, (not easily, very stubbornly and guiltily...but they needed to do it anyway). God heard this request and granted it. What I found was humbling, putrid, painful. I've been at His feet daily ever since, apologizing, crying out to Him for forgiveness. I found myself even asking what it was I needed to do for such a huge thing as wiping my slate clean. It was as though I had forgotten. All those times in church when we sang the invitation song, "Come just as you are" weren't ringing in my ears. All the classes we held and told the lost souls that His mercy and grace is abundant, and there's nothing you have done that can keep you from Him if you seek His face. I didn't remember. Wasn't I once a lover of God? It can happen very slowly and subtly, but it surely happened. I ended up exchanging my own philosophies and the beliefs of others for the life of God that once flourished in my soul. Sure I had been betrayed and my life was breaking apart at the seams, but I could have used that opportunity to draw closer to Him, but I backed away and blamed Him instead...and that has cost me a great price. A great price, but not my soul. I hear that Voice again, "Remember me? You knew me once. I was your greatest Love. Remember me?" Yes...I do. And I miss you more than I could ever put into words from my mouth or on paper. As it was a slow decent, so is it a slow recollection. I'm still struggling with the amount of guilt, but every day another piece of the wall I've built between myself and the Almighty comes tumbling down. No, life isn't any easier, and there is no promise that it ever will be. But instead of cursing the One I use to adore, I am now able to say:

My soul and my spirit are joyful. Just in the knowing that God is truly in control-I am in control of nothing. The only thing I am in control of is my attitude and spiritual life. I must stay humble before the Lord. I have a calm in the midst of the storm.

Thank you Jesus. It's only because of You that I have this.

Almost School Time!!!

2010-08-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

And I couldn't be more excited! We will be trying to make up for what was missed last year, (which was a lot due to the divorce and my mental breakdown). But we are in a great spot in our lives. We discussed last week that we have a lot to make up for to get caught up to 4th grade and she's fired up and ready to go. The goal is to be caught up by Christmas...so I'm confident we will complete 4th grade by summer. Due to our obvious financial situation changing so drastically, we're homeschooling on a TIGHT budget. Michael will be taking care of math, science, and world history. I'll be taking reading, spelling, grammer, read aloud comprehension, Bible, handwriting, American history, (which will include studying all 50 states and their locations). I have a great spelling tool...a book (huge book) called Spelling Power. It actually is suppose to last for several years. For reading we will utilize some of the books she already has in her library, (which are a LOT including the entire box car children series, and the animal ark series). She will read a chapter to me a day and discuss it. Grammer is a hard subject for her, so we will start out with a language arts book I already have from McGraw Hill. For Bible we are using books from Christian Light...The Miller's series...we are working through "Wisdom With The Millers" and the work book that goes with it. Handwriting is a cursive handbook. She will also work through a primary language lesson book that is meant for dictation but we will use to practice handwriting. American history is exploring american history, and pioneers and patriots from My Father's World. I also got the cd rom game Where In The USA is Carmen Sandeago for her to practice interactivly to help teach her the states. I also got her the cd rom game Oregon Trail so she can have a more visual idea of what it was like for the pioneers. I'm so excited! Our reading list looks like this:

Stone Fox
Muggie Maggie
Chalk Box Kid
Cat Wings
Lily and Miss Liberty
Hannah
Grasshopper Summer
Finding The Titantic
Helen Keller
Beany Goes To Camp
George Washington's Breakfast

She is also going to attend my friend Lori's American Girls Class....which starts soon...and we've already dived head first into the first book Felicity. So excited! I'm also starting Tadpole on a curriculum I found online that teaches a letter from the alphebet a week, has fun songs and fingerplays to go with it. Something short and sweet, but educational to keep that little big brain stimulated. He's never been one to sit and listen to a book like his sister has always been, but he eats up any song...especially if there are movements to go with it. New school year, new opportunity to learn and enjoy being a mom to the best two creatures on the planet!!!

Happy Girl

2010-07-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate relinquishing my kiddos for the weekend, it does give me some much needed and appreciated alone time. Last night I took a walk and discovered a great walking trail behind my neighborhood. There wasn't a soul out there and it was delightful to enjoy nature and talk to my Maker alone...smelling the clear air, listening to the frogs and bugs sing their chours to the coolness of the impending evening, thinking about life and where it will lead me next. I rounded a corner to see a beautiful field with a gorgeous sunset beyond the horizon. I hadn't taken my camera with me, but as a precaution I had my phone with me and was able to snap the last few minutes between day and night. Then this morning, awoke early to a gorgeous morning, and decided to hit the farmer's market before too many people got there. It's so hard to budget when I get there...I want EVERYTHING. The flowers are almost otherworldly their so beautiful, the vegetables are amazing and shiny...something you can't appreciate under the florescent lights at a mass food market. The street performers are relaxing and entertaining. Just a great way to spend the morning. I made a great little haul, and plan to make a delicious dinner this evening. Such a great life.

Summer Daze

2010-07-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

AAhh...why is it all winter all I dream of is summer, and all summer all I look forward to is fall?? It is SO HOT, and humid, and sticky, and miserable outside. But that didn't stop us from having a great week. I had three interviews this week, no word on anything yet, but I'm still plugging away at it. I am so grateful to my babysitter who made a deal with us as far as keeping the kids only two days and charging very little. So those two days I can get my interviews in, and they can play with their friends. Even though I'm anxious to get back to work, I sure am enjoying staying home with my dynamic duo. They are so sweet, and so wonderful...I'm so blessed beyond comprehension. We went to gator golf last week, per Princess' birthday request. Tadpole tried to golf the right way for the first few holes, then gave up and would just put his ball right by the hole and putt it in. My kind of golfer. We melted, but before we puddled in our own sweat, we had great fun. I'm alone tonight, and I'm enjoying the quiet, but not that much. I'd much rather have someone saying, "momma...look momma...sissy...look sissy"..."mom...can I play on your phone? mom, can you keep bubby out of my room"....aaaahhh...that's good stuff. I do need to ask for prayers as far as Princess' schooling goes. Mike and I have a huge task ahead of us deciding whether or not to send her to public school...and with my job status up in the air, we are going blindly and completely on faith. We know the problem is already solved, I'm just ready to get to it to find out what will happen.

The Man I Love

2010-07-18T07:21:00.001-07:00

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once~Polish Proverb

The Days Go On

2010-07-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

I'm still feeling under the weather, but I am hopeful. I have pink eye...so when I go to the grocery store, or anywhere else I'm forced to interact with "normal folks" I feel like a freakish hunchback with a pink, shifty eye, and a nasally voice :) oh well...some of those people I enjoy scaring. Today is Princess' 9th birthday party. I can't believe it. Where oh where did those nine years go? What happened to that big pink baby? She's been replaced with this ridiculously beautiful, statuesque, blond angel. I look forward to pictures from the party this evening. Still no job on the horizon, I've e-mailed a million places, so hopefully something will turn up soon. Not that it really would have mattered, they would have taken one look at my gimpy face and said, "uh...we'll call you". I have faith though...thank goodness...that's about all I have left.

Rain On My Face

2010-07-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

Sadness, I have carried for awhile now. It's been exactly a year since my life that, though wasn't perfect, was mine and could have easily been fixed, was turned upside down, knocked down, dragged through the mud. And yet the sadness, I carry with me still. I have nothing. I have no home, I have little family, I have few friends, I have no job, and no place that feels like where I need to be. And still, I wait for resuce. When none comes, I take the burdens myself, and with that, the mistakes that come with it. So, I am here with rain, tears, lines, dirt, pain, on my face. So, here I am. Still bruised and nearly broken. I'm crying out to anyone. I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrows, to rivers of joy. Wade awhile, and splash my face with your grace, your mercy, drown myself in your stillness, and the knowing of who you are. The faith that assures. This rain and pain will be washed away. You lead now...I don't have the energy or desire to try anymore on my own. I'll wait for rescue with my eyes tightly shut, my hands covering that fatal cut.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-26T18:55:00.001-07:00

Time To Turn The Page

2010-05-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

It's officially time to get out of my slump and move forward. And that's just what I'm doing. I start working full time at Toyota next week. With it comes more hours, more money, and benefits. Found a great sitter so both kids can be together, (Princess will have kids her own age to hang out with, and Tadpole will too). Unless something miraculous happens, Princess will be going to public school in the fall. Do I hate it? Yes, but is there anything I can do about it? Well, yes, I could move in with some random guy and have him support us just so I can continue to homeschool her...but, I've done that already and it hasn't turned out so swell, so, no, no choice. I'm looking for a bigger place. I bought a NEW CAR!!!! The 4runner I had was eating my lunch, (literally, there were some instances where I had to decide between filling my gas tank or eating lunch), so I traded it in for a Prius hybrid. I've wanted a prius ever since they came out, and now was defiantly the time to get one. The fellas at work took great care of me and got me an amazing deal. I get my smushy boy back this afternoon after not seeing him all week , (I had to work all week), and I can't WAIT! Before he comes over I'm going to go look at a couple of houses. Life is gooood :)

Here's just some recent pictures. One is a sun reflecting on water that Princess painted, Princess made potpourri out of our dead roses, Tadpole loves our massage chair...he thinks it feels extra cool on his head. And of course...my new baby :) Harriett the Hybrid :) She has everything, leather, navigation, xm. I don't even have a key...I just push a button and she turns on. She's better than any man I've ever been with!!

Damaged Again

2010-05-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

I miss you. I try to see other people, and all I see is you. I try to build up that anger you planted inside of me...and watch it grow, then fester and die away because you're all I think about. The wonderful times we had together, overshadow that one horrendous evening. Those times you made me laugh so hard, or kissed me until I almost fainted, or cried with me over daily things, they take over. Everyone came out of the wood works the second there was trouble, but where were they when we were in love and pleaded with them to be apart of something beautiful? Where were they when our love was amazing and all we wanted was to spread it around? Why are they just now making appearances to scold and condone? I miss you...I don't need you, but I want you. I don't forgive you, but I love you. I don't know where life will take us, but the thought of never seeing you again almost makes it not worth living. You were helping me pick up all the pieces, and now I'm shattered and damaged again.

Just The Stillness & The Hunger

2010-05-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

Though the pain, is an ocean, tossing us around....around....around. You have calmed greater waters, and higher mountains have come down.

I will spin until the water stills. I will walk this valley of sorrows knowing I will make it to the rivers of joy. I will...follow YOU.

Even in the dark nights when I tried to hide my face, I would glance up and know YOU were there waiting, waiting on this hour to arrive. And it has. Prodigal daughter, not my first time returning, hopefully my last...but certaintly not my first. You're arms are around me...In this stillness...I feel them. It's good to be home.

Every mortal in my life has let me down. Every flesh and blood I have touched promising me love has disappointed me. Every MAN who has uttered the words, "love", "promise", has forsaken me and that has been where I've put my worth. My trust.

So I lay at your feet, all my brokenness. I carry all my burdens to you. Scared out of my mind by the deamons I've made. Sweet Jesus You'll never ever, let me go.

Revelation

2010-05-02T09:13:00.001-07:00

My life has led me down a road that is so uncertain, and now I'm left alone, and I am broken. Trying to find a way, trying to find the faith that's gone. This time I KNOW that you are holding all the answers. I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances, on roads that never seem to be the one's that bring me home.

Give me a revelation! Show me what to do! Cause I've been trying to find my way and I haven't got a clue. Tell me should I stay here? Or do I need to move? Give me a revelation, cause I'm nothing without you.

My life has led me down this path that's ever winding, through every twist and turn I'm always finding that I'm lost again.

I don't know where to turn. Tell me, when will I learn? Won't you show me where to go? Let me follow your lead. I know it's the only way I'll get back home.
Give me a revelation. Cause I'm nothing without you.

Click HERE to hear this amazing song by Third Day.

Monkey's By The Ocean

2010-04-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

If you've never watched Life on the discovery channel you have NO idea what you're missing. It is amazing! Every episode I'm reminded what an incredible artist, decorator and most of all, provider God is. I watched as plants pollinated themselves without the need of insects, I watched a Kimono Dragon take down a water buffalo, I watched a lizard walk across one if not the hottest dessert with his side facing the sun turn black to absorb the sun and the other side stay white so he could stay cool. I watched a little pebble frog...that weighs as much as a paper clip climb a huge hill only to reach the top to see a tarantula there ready to try to make him his meal. He curled up and bounced down the hill he had just spent half the day climbing then land in water...completely unharmed. I watched monkey's that live near the ocean who know how to watch for a high tide then go out when the tide is out and eat the oysters that wash ashore. I watched a bird that eats a diet of certain rocks that are way to big for them to eat...so they fly over other rocks to smash it so they can fly back down and eat the smaller pieces. If He takes such good care of all these creatures...I have complete faith, he will take care of me and my little one's as well. I don't see now exactly how...but that's all part of faith. I'll tell the sordid tale later, I'm not in the mood to do so now.

I'm Praying For You

2010-04-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

I hear those words...a lot. I'm not sure if it's that way for everyone? Do you have lots of people petitioning to the MOST HIGH for your life? It's an amazing feeling, please don't get me wrong, to have the knowledge that someone else is lifting you up in the midst of their busy days and lives to the creator of the universe. Having said that, if you find someone solid on this rock that has unconditional love, fierce, fighting, do whatever it takes kind of love to hold onto physically, then you are an exceptionally blessed individual. I have several of those people in my life, and I feel overwhelmingly lucky and grateful. This post is for them.

First, please don't mistake "unconditional love" for someone who agrees with you all the time. Far from it. In fact, all the people, (save two small ones) in my list haven't agreed with the majority of choices I've made in my life, and have had no trouble expressing that to me. But, they stick by me, see it through, and in the end, if they've been right, they don't do the haughty, "I told ya so"...they grab me by the hand and say, "So, what did you learn?" Amazing. Amazing grace, DOES exist in people. Here is a short list of the ones in my life:

Christian and MaryJane: we can have a knock down, horrible, horrendous, everyone cries all day for no reason kind of day. We all go to bed feeling defeated, mad at the world and each other, yet when the sun peaks through their windows in the morning they come and hug me and kiss me and the world is fresh, alive, new, as though yesterday didn't even exist. No words are necessary. Just hugs, kisses, and contentment. That is unconditional love, in it's truest, purest, most beautiful form. I treasure them. They are my world.

Michael: I feel like he's been in my life since the dawn of time. I remember vividly walking through the halls of my high school, seeing him in his Nirvana shirt, hair long and pulled back in a pony tail thinking, "That kid is hot!"...then sitting next to him in a computer class, irritating him with a stuffed reindeer that played horrible Christmas music. He got so mad he wrapped it in toilet paper when I left the room and I came back and couldn't find it. He had put it up on a fan blade so I couldn't reach it...and left the room with an evil smirk on his face...humph...he's not so cute anymore! Then when we reconnected after graduation it was like fire. Young, blazing love kind of fire. We were doomed from the start. Me pregnant, him an alcoholic and drug addict...bad combination. Things only got worse after the birth of our daughter. But "people were praying for us" and he got sober, but I was too far gone in an abyss of self loathing and extra marital affairs. The card house eventually came crashing down. But through it all, we have remained partners in the raising of our daughter, and against all odds, best friends. He has scolded me, listened to me, held me when I cried, and given me sage like advice on countless occasions. Life has taught him so much, and he is gracious to share that wisdom with me. I don't know where this road will take us Mikie, but you exhibit unconditional love, and I want you to know how much I admire that (you) and love you for it. Thank you for always being there.

Brooke & Cherri: I'm convinced every woman in this world needs a best friend. I use to not believe that, mainly because I didn't have one :) and women, (as a whole) and I have never really cared for one another. I hate their pettiness, their vanity, their underhanded way of getting "what they want"...it is, in a word, disgusting. You BOTH hate the same things! Brooke~as far as I'm concerned, you have been here forever. My life began with you in it....we had a great, wonderful, adventurous childhood together. Then we would be separate and our lives in our own homes weren't so wonderful. But, even now, as an adult, with you there is a sense of "home". Even now, almost 30 years old, you come squish my nose and call it "pooky" :) Our crazy brains have made us what we are (whether we like it or not, the majority of the time NOT) and you, I'm certain, are the only person on this planet who understands me...and you still love me. Unconditionally. Beautiful. Cherri~You my dear are my hero...without a doubt. You are the fiercest, strongest individual I have ever met. I wish you could sit in my shoes for just a day, look at you and all you accomplish as a single mother completely on your own...not by your choosing, but there it is...and see what a spectacularly amazing person you are my dear. We have seen each other through so much since "the single mother's club" began, and nothing is getting easier, but I can NOT imagine walking this bumpy road without you by my side. No matter what man/men may come into our lives (or don't) you're still the one I want to grow old with :) I love you my Bing. Thank you so much for showing unconditional love, especially when I've been anything but lovable.

Mom: I know you try really hard to understand me, and it just doesn't work. I know you try really hard to give that unconditional love, but sometimes you just can't. I want you to know, it's okay. I know you love Jessie. I know you love your little girl...even if you have a hard time accepting Jessica, the woman. Now that your life has taken a dramatic turn, and you're experiencing things I already have, maybe you'll understand my past actions a little better. But if not, I still love you, you're everything to me, always.

There are people I'd give my right arm to put on this list...but they are unable to exhibit that unconditional love, so they will continue to hold me at a distance, and tell me they're praying for me, in hopes the unconditional love of the Father in Heaven will do. Thank you Abba, for the people you have placed in my life, in the flesh, to hang on to until this life is over and I can experience the love above all loves and hold onto it there. For those of you who don't know that kind of love, I'm praying for you.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-07T09:46:00.001-07:00

Beauty To Mask The Ugly

2010-03-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

So I've been wanting something to cover up the scars on my arm for awhile now. I'm in a wonderful place in my life, and though it's part of my story and I don't want to forget that dark place again so I can recognize how much of a gift and privilege it is to be given more time here each day, I don't like having a constant reminder of some of the darkest days of my life. So Friday night, my best friend and I headed up to the local ink shop where I met Boo and he gave me beauty to cover up my scars. It was emotional, but also, a lot of fun. Thank you Cherri for going with me! I love you so much! It says: There Is Always Hope...when I was outside of myself and in the grasps of the 'evil one' who was telling me everything was hopeless and things would be the same or easier if my presence was removed, hope was the last thing I believed existed. But I have been to hell and back again, and life is beautiful, and God is good. Sometimes learning lessons the hard way is the only way to learn, but I never want to be there again....ever.

Let The Rain Fall!

2010-03-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

There never was a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him to sleep~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I LOVE rain. I always have. I love a good, solid early spring rain...like what we have going on this morning. It makes me excited for a middle summer thunder storm. The kind where the sky is an eerie yellow before the downfall descends. That's something to look forward to! Mocha has had to work all day every day this week and it's draining him and making me miss him terribly. I snapped a picture of him yesterday and every time I look at it I just want to run into his huge strong arms so he can hold me and make me feel safe. Tomorrow night something extraordinary will happen! I can't wait for it and to reveal it and show pictures!!!

'Dis & 'Dat

2010-03-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

What a great day! All snowed in, on this...the second day of spring. Just me and my little fella. Not really much to talk about. Mocha and I had a wonderful St. Patrick's evening. After I got off work we met at the local watering hole and I had my first green beer. It was...really...something. Boulevard wheat is hands down the best beer ever, and the waitress indulged me by making it green...apparently no one had requested that one green and she was worried about what color it would turn. We both agreed it was perhaps the best one...certainly tasted like the best one :) Princess is still in her art class...I will take a picture and show you the mosaic she made last week. They studied Monet...my favorite so I got really excited. Tadpole is still crazy. I made the...mistake? of letting him talk on the payphone once at wal-mart so now every time we walk into the store he beelines it for the phone saying, "Look momma! Hello! Hello Momma! Look! Go go hello momma!!" Some happy little product endorsements, the pledge pet hair remover is AAmazing. If you have any critters, I highly recommend this little jewel.

Oh Child

2010-03-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, through birthing a daughter, a woman finds herself face to face not only with an infant, a little girl, a woman-to-be, but also with her own unresolved conflicts from the past and her hopes and dreams for the future...As though experiencing an earthquake, mothers of daughters may find their lives shifted, their deep feelings unearthed, the balance struck in all relationships once again off kilter.

What A Piece Of Work Is Man

2010-03-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about this....the man who had a double hand transplant? 4 operating tables, 11 hours, countless doctors and surgeons...wow. I watched him, mouth agape as he picked up pieces to a board game. How weird would that be? To look down and someone else's hands and forearm. He had been without his hands for 10 years...then woke up and felt fingers after only 11 hours. I'm amazed.

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me-nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.~Hamlet

Let Me Help You Find That Rock

2010-03-14T11:46:00.001-07:00

That rock that you emerged from with several friends from the "living under a rock" subdivision you came from. Yesterday was quite the day. My Saturdays are now consumed with the sounds of, "I've got a great deal for you", "you don't want to miss out on this opportunity", "I got a letter in the mail about some recall" "Where is the bathroom"...but God made this one extra special. First thing I'm greeted with is a jam in the copy/printer machine that I was on my hands and knees trying to fix for thirty minutes...me...one of only two other females there on Saturdays...and a car lot, filled with handy dandy MEN. Pshaw...who needs 'em? I fixed it and made it better...but not before loosing all the papers I was suppose to print for the day that if not printed once apparently disappear into the oblivion that is the Toyota database. Okay great...off to a great start. Then I was greeted by my "work boyfriend" who is this odd little character that kind of rambles and stares at my chest a lot, but takes my truck every Thursday at 6:00 on the dot and washes it...and I mean WASHES it...I'm pretty sure I heard a cheer from my truck on Thursday when we pulled in because he knew the remarkable scrub down was that day. But he's harmless and very sweet. So after he left I was approached by another...um...person? He was asking me all about the recall and how it affected our business. I could tell he was dancing around to ask me out which immediately made me terribly uncomfortable. I pounced on the phone whenever it rang praying that it was someone who needed a receptionists long opinion on something, but it was just someone that needed transferred. Crap. Glance up....dang it...he's still here. Then the cheese lines came in: "So....how long have you been working here?" "You look so familiar, have you ever worked at wal-mart?" "What kind of car do you drive?"...I could feel the next question coming as he looked down to see a ring on my finger...a ring on my finger! Duh! So suddenly my face began to itch and only my left hand would do to scratch it. Within seconds the man had no more questions...phew. Later that day a fellow with a grand total of 10 teeth (I counted...yes, he was there that long) dropped off a photo he wanted me to give to my Internet manager...who wasn't there. It was a doll replica of Hallie Berry...dressed in some red army type suit. It looked like either a feminine homosexual or a very butch lesbian. He said he brought it to brighten Manny (said managers) day so show an American beauty. Uh...right. Then he said, "hang on...let me go get the others." HELP!!! What others?!?!?! And so for the next 45 minutes he showed me his pictures...of army men dolls that he cleverly put it different positions and scenarios, then...took...pictures....of. "See, here is the army guys playing football and beating the navy guys. And in this one it's the navy beating the army. Here is one in a little Humvee. Here's one standing by a Humvee". Yes. Great. Awesome. How cool. I had to "use the restroom" and kept peaking my head out the door until he left. Oh, that was brutal. Then, just 10 minutes before time to leave, a new sleazy salesman I've never seen before starts giving me the low down on where to party at in Vegas. Hum...first, don't plan on going to Vegas, now or anytime in the future, second...it's called "sin city"...pretty sure I could figure that one out on my own. But...he proceeded to tell me, regardless of my bored expression and my attempt at disinterest. But the conversation wasn't a complete bust, he asked how old I was, and (I'm really starting to hate this question) being honest Abelina that I am, I grudgingly said 28. His eyes became saucers and he said, "I wasn't even sure if you were 21! Wow...you don't look it at all!" Hum...somewhere in there I know there's a compliment, so I'm gonna take it. So, that was my day in a warped, psychotic nutshell. Now scurry back under folks before someone misses ya!

These Are Afew Of My Favorite Things

2010-03-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

No, you will not find here brown paper packages tied up with strings, or girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, but, just as good :)

A Wonderful Day

2010-03-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

So being the optimist, (yea right) that I occasionally can be, and giving the benefit of the doubt to often to too many people that don't deserve it, like my son's father, I agreed to try out lettin him keep him half the week beginning yesterday evening. At 6:30 this morning I was already in tears texting him saying what a horrible idea it was and how badly I wanted him back. But, of course, it's not really trying if the child isn't even awake yet. So, making the best out of a sad situation, we declared it a girls day. We haven't had one of those in ages, (which she reminded me of numerous times after I made the declaration). So we lounged in bed downloading and playing games on the iPhone, went to get some vittles, lounged, giggled, girl talked some more, then went and stocked up on theatre candy and hit the theatre. Two tickets to Alice In Wonderland please. Pop corn, candy, and a huge soda, a matinee seat up at the very top...ahhh...heaven. The movie was, let me just say OUTSTANDING. As soon as it ended I wanted to just stay and watch it again. It was in 3D which made it even more wonderful. It is the best movie I've seen in awhile. So then we scampered off to Barnes & Nobles where we got our Alice In Wonderland bookmarks (she got Alice, I snagged the last Mad Hatter! Woo hoo!!!) then we boogied on home where she was just in time to watch her favorite show (brain surge) and mommy SAID she was going to nap...and yet here she is blogging, and apparently talking in third person :) What a WONDERFUL day...I miss my boy of course, but it sure was nice to just hang out with the girl.

At Some Point Every Day...

2010-03-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

....this moment happens throughout some moment of my day...no joke...and no, he has never seen this, that's probably what makes it so tragic, and painfully accurate.

Better Late Than Never

2010-02-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

So, as with everything else always, I'm about 2 years behind the rest of the cool, hip, techno-savvy world and just now treated myself to an iPhone. I've been watching Mocha, and, well everyone else I associate myself with on a regular basis, working, texting, playing, and shock of all shocks, actually TALKING on these nifty phones. So, with a paycheck under my belt, and a song in my heart, I decided to treat myself to my one yearly treat and purchase one of these new gadgets. I was determined not to be as addicted as my counterparts. Last night when I got home from work, I ever so coolly pulled the little booklet out of the box, plugged it in, sent a couple of texts messages, okay, not bad, but I'm certainly above all this addiction nonsense. Yeah, right. Then today finds us staying at home, school done unusually early, and me sitting here browsing apps. I BEGIN browsing apps, then I have to pace myself on what I decide to download and what I can pass up for late. People, this thing has EVERYTHING. Books, audio books, games, puzzles, an application to help you organize your grocery list, recipes, coupons...you name it, this little apple wonder has it. How have I lived without this piece of electronic heaven for so long? I have to get off this ancient laptop I'm on and get back to the much tinier wonderment to see what I can download next :)

Sweet, Glorious Rain

2010-02-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

This has been one looooong winter. And I know it isn't over yet. We didn't get one big storm like last year that just wiped us all out and left an ungodly amount of trees on the ground to clean up months into the spring. We get these little storms...that come, keep us stuck inside, then just when we think it's safe to pop our little stir crazy heads out, down comes more ice and snow. Needless to say, I'm rather sick of it. So today I wake up, roll over, look out my window and see the dark clouds overhead, hear the rain hitting this window and the ground below, and I smile, snuggle deeper into my covers, and drift back off to more sleep to dream about and pretend like it's spring. I do love days like this. It makes me hopeful that the booming thunder clouds of spring that I REALLY love aren't too far away.

Okay, what's been going on...hum...it was quite a busy week. Treehouse on Thursday, the kiddos made masks and maraca's in honor of mardi gras and the previous fat Tuesday. When they were done we had them march around the building in their own little parade...it was sssooo cute, (and remember, I don't like kids other than a select few and my own, so for me to say it was cute, that means it really was pretty darn cute). Princess' maraca and mask matched each other. She didn't put any streamers on or any little decorations, just made them both with certain patterns of purple and pink. Very cool. Then Friday she began a new 2hour art class for Fridays called "Impersonating The Impressionists". She is going to thrive in that class I can feel it already. This is a big step up, so to speak, in her little art "career" and I'm excited for her. We went to Mocha's work for lunch afterwards, and while he took Tadpole to play with a little, she sat there for 30 minutes talking non-stop about artists in the "olden days" and how they emerged. I was so impressed with that little big brain of hers. Proud momma...proud momma. Then Saturday was my long, 9 hour day of work. It was sssooo busy. I went down a couple of times in a blaze of glory...but all in the learning process. There's only one salesman there I like, the rest annoy me to death...or don't even know I exist...which I would prefer the latter. The one I like doesn't strike me as a salesman at all, probably why I like him. While the others long trench-like coats trying to look all impressive, he has on a wool jacket that's probably as old as he is. He looks very rugged and like being outside is way more comfortable for him than being inside. I like that. Plus, he engages me and, I appreciate that. Good fella. If you're planning on buying a Toyota in Arkansas any time soon, let me know...he's the guy to talk to. Mocha is doing fabulous. Even though I don't feel like I ever get to see him. He has been wonderful taking care of Tadpole when I do Treehouse or work in the evenings. They really have bonded a lot these past couple of weeks and it warms my heart to hear Mocha say he loves him. Okay...I'm stalling, this house isn't going to clean itself. When Mocha does get home, I want the house looking spic and span, because I could tell he tried really hard to make it look presentable when I got home yesterday from a long day. Have I mentioned lately how much I love this man :)

Good Night To Cover Up A Bad Day

2010-02-16T08:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know what was wrong with my child yesterday. The fact that he didn't have a bowl movement all day makes me think the tummy was tightened up, that and he kept calling for his dad, (have I mentioned lately how much I despise that man?) So it was a day filled with much aggravation from all sides. He was cranky at me, I was cranky at him, Princess was cranky at me, I was cranky at her...it was not a good day. So when the time rolled around for me to go to work, I was beyond ready. It was pretty boring...not a lot of people buy cars after 5:00 on a Monday. So I sat and tried to work on some sudoku puzzles and confirmed that I actually do suck at them. When closing time came, I drove home, opened the door, and standing there was Mocha, freshly cleaned, shaved, and looking all hot in a button down shirt and cargo pants. He was taking me out for a late dinner :) We went to buffalo wild wings where I got a tall, frosty glass of Boulevard, (my favorite beer in the world) and a game controller. I'll admit, I wasn't too thrilled at this idea...the Olympics were on the big screen and I was prepared to sit and make fun of all the skaters falling on their behinds. But, Mocha is a very convincing fellow. So I whined around that I didn't know how to play poker, but he persistently taught me...we were playing two other people there. And I found out I'm lucky! At least last night I was. He kept looking at me stunned saying he was going to take me to Vegas :) I got the hang of it pretty quick and we sat there for 2 hours drinking, eating, laughing, playing Texas hold 'em, and of course...occasionally making fun of the skaters falling on their behinds. It more than made up for my crappy day. Thank you sweet one. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Spring In My Step

2010-02-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

Every time I log onto my blog, and I see that glorious picture of being barefoot in the backyard, I find myself sticking out my lip wishing it was spring. Everyday I know is one day closer to that brilliant season which is my favorite. Today is a day to RELAX...and that's just what we're doing. We're all still bumming around in our pj's at almost 1:00 in the afternoon. Yesterday left me mucho tired...but that good tired...ya know...where you come home, collapse on the couch, flip on the evening news, take a deep sigh of satisfaction of a day cram packed with moments...and productivity. Princess' co-op began yesterday and I got the privilege to help in her poetry class. It was great fun! They are creating lapbooks over Shiel Silverstiens poems about pirates. I really like the teacher, and she will be gone next week, so I get to take over for the day. That will be fun. Then I got to teach an art class. It was very quickly, I'm talkin' VERY quickly put together, because I didn't find out until two days prior that I was even teaching it. Sooo...that was interesting, and there are 18 kids in that class!!! Yikes! I'm sharing it, (thank GOODNESS) with another lady and am excited because the kids were very attentive and excited to do projects. We can keep their little fingers and minds busy I have no doubt. Then I changed clothes, kissed my fella (who had the day off and went up to Treehouse to help me! What a sweetie!) and went to work! I got a part time job at Toyota as the evening/weekend receptionist. Saturday is my first day flying solo...and I'll only have a combined 4 hours of training under my belt. Yikes! But I like it already. Defiantly different from restaurants! When we close a restaurant we're there for 2 hours cleaning, counting down money, doing dishes...closing is the worst...nobody likes doing it. Guess what the closing duties are here? Turn the computer screen off, and turn the ringer on the phone down. I about passed out. I laughed and laughed...I LOVE this job!!! It's great because we have been struggling just a touch lately (Mocha is fighting for full custody of his children...and lawyers aren't cheap) so we've been penny pinching. This should free us up so we can have a cushion and save. Aaahh...feels so good to be with someone that works as a team...and says periodically throughout my busy day, "I'm so proud of you honey". Well, I'll be at the dealership for eight hours tomorrow, and there isn't a lot to do when the phones aren't ringing...so I'll be stocking up on sudoku books :) Enjoy the view of my boys.

Gone But Not Forgotten

2010-02-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

I have had numerous things grab my time away from this little journal of mine, but I'm back for now :) Little Miss Sunshine herself was the winner of the drawing (Bing!!!). This is great for her, she is in a new blossoming relationship and I hope this truly helps.

Couple of new things on the horizon, I am working on two websites so that has my attention for the glimmer of moments where the free time wind blows my way. I also am getting ready to teach an art class at Princess' co-op starting Thursday. This week we will be learning about primary colors and color mixing. I have found some really great art projects and am looking forward to it. I also will be the co-teacher in the poetry class for younger kids (Princess will be in that class AND my art class AND the class her daddy is going to teach). Luckily Mocha will be off on Thursday, so he can watch Tadpole while I help in the poetry class, but he is going to come help me in my art class. I am contemplating whether or not Tads should be in the class with me or shuffle off to the nursery. I would love for him to participate and get those curious little fingers in some paint, but he does love to be the center of attention, and I feel that if he was in there he would use it as a prime opportunity to distract everyone...cute and hilarious though he is, their parents are paying for these classes so kiddos need to get the most out of it. Speaking of the little booger, here is a great little picture of my small creature with a fresh buzz cut.

We are still trying to figure out what to do about California. Mocha's oldest graduates this may and the family wants to go out there. I would love to go and take my kiddos with me, but he wanted to go on a cruise afterwards, that I don't think I can do. Not this year. The thought of leaving my little man with his crappy father for a week makes me sweat bullets. I would love to take Princess...just because she has never seen the ocean...it's defiantly time for her to travel. So, praying hard we can figure out a good compromise before time escapes us.

Love Is Not Selfish

2010-02-01T04:18:00.000-08:00

Day3

Whatever you put your time, energy, money into will become more important to you. It is hard to care for something you're not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today"

Ah selfishness. Such an odd, complex thing. Funny that this was yesterday's topic and I spent the evening yelling into the phone at the very person I feel encompasses selfishness, my ex husband. Who was kind enough to send me an e-mail stating he will be relocating soon (to live with his next victim...er...wife) and that presents new "challenges" for tadpole. No challenge here! Just pay me my child support and adios amigo! Okay...sorry, mild vent. Yesterday was a challenge in itself. Okay, first, the dare-to get him a gift. Well, I was lucky to even work up enough bravery to get in my vehicle after spending 45minutes hacking inches thick of ice off my windshield, what could I possibly give him? I waited at the airport for him for an hour, no sign. They had been rerouted to Springfield so I was on standby for another hour. Okay, he wasn't being the most gracious man on the phone, he was tired, hungry, just wanted to be home. And I wasn't much better. But, selfishness...a gift kept playing over in the back of my mind. I know! I'll just give myself as a gift! I will push aside those frustrated feelings and be happy and joyful when he arrives. Listen to all the stories he has to tell, (even though I will be incredibly jealous that he got to go to universal studios while I changed an ungodly amount of diapers in 4 days) with grace and excitement. Phshaw! Easier said than done! But I did it...it was my "gift" (for now) after all. I took him to lunch where I sat and listened to him tell me the story of one of the motivational speakers who completed the Eco challenge (Mocha use to do bike races so this has reved up his motivation to begin again...guess who's gonna tag along :) and he got teary eyed retelling the story, which of course made me teary eyed. It was a beautiful moment, a gift to me that I cherish. We went to a movie and then the evening was ruined by my goofball ex husband. I'm going to listen extra close to him this week and make up for the actual gift, I'll let you know what it will be. In the theme of gifts and being unselfish, leave a comment on this post and I will have a drawing on Wednesday and send the blessed person with a copy of the love dare as well as a journal! Remember, this book was written for both husbands AND wives (boyfriends or girlfriends) so not just my girls can enter! If your name is drawn and you already have a copy of this book, you'll recieve a different book and journal. Good luck!

Live From Orlando!

2010-01-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

MY Iron Chef :)

Skippity Doo Daa

2010-01-30T15:51:00.000-08:00

I didn't even open the page for today. I woke up cranky and annoyed...everything OTHER than kind and patient. So, I knew those two were a struggle enough for me today. My kids were in fine form this morning still...remember, that's 3 days in a row without so much as stepping a toe outside because of the weather. Yes, we were all driving each other crazy nuts. Blessedly Boaty came and got them both this afternoon, took the boy home and the girl to her daddy. Aaaahhh. Silence is...forget golden...platinum! Okay, I'm going back to watch something on tv other than a cartoon and continue to knit and not worry about little fingers coming to try to destroy it to bide for attention. Enjoy these photos. Princess won't stay still long enough for me to take her picture, but I did capture her making a snow angel. And yes, that is my son talking on a banana. At least his snack doubles as a toy. My baby flies home tomorrow (FINALLY!) so I'll be on day three then!

Love Is Kind

2010-01-29T19:05:00.000-08:00

Day 2
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse all day, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Defiantly challenging (ha...get it?) doing this challenge when my honey is away. But leave it to insecure Utopia to figure out a way! So today's challenge was a combination of yesterday and just added an extra one today. "Make an unexpected nice gesture". Hum...hard to do when I'm in the land of Arkansas and he's off in Orlando. Then I started thinking of all the things I WANTED to tell him, come home, I'm miserable without you, why did you have to leave me, this is the longest week of my life, hope you're having fun in the sun while I'm stuck at home in a blizzard, blah blah blah. Bitter much? Why yes, yes I am. And the sad thing is, he didn't even WANT to go when they presented it to him. It was dim witted me who went on and on about how talented he is, how he worked so hard he deserves it. Which is true, and is no less true now than it was several months ago when he first told me. So, one kind gesture. Deep breath, picking up my phone, texting since I didn't want to interrupt him if he's in a meeting, (his cell phone ring for when I call is "She's my cherry pie" so, probably not terribly professional). The text said something in the way of how proud I am of him, that I hope he enjoys the beautiful weather down there, and that he truly has a good time today and that I love him and will be thinking of him all day. Wow...that actually felt pretty good! It felt good to send him that positive energy vs. dolling out my humdrum, wasteful poor me's.....grant it, that would have been WAY easier, but not nearly as rewarding. Today's was filled with absolute gems including 4 breakdowns of the incredibly vague word "kind": gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative....all of which I struggle with at one time or another. What about you?

Love Is Patient

2010-01-28T18:19:00.000-08:00

Day One
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

Today was a toughie. It was the first day of my love dare...but I'll get to that in a minute. First I have to rave about the yummy new restaurant we discovered last night. Just a tiny little hole in the wall right down the road. It's called the Bayou and piged out hardcore! I have sworn off fried foods a long time ago..but I splurged because of sadness :( I had a huge plate of fried goodness...catfish, shrimp, and crawfish. YUMMO! Mocha had a full rack of ribs...again...YUM!! Okay, so on to today. I didn't think I would really have much to talk about on my first dare...oh buddy was I wrong! We left at 4 this morning for the airport...I cried like a little girl, I know...yuck, gag...couldn't help it...I was sad. Then they couldn't find his ticket (yippie!) so I got to go pick him back up, then take him back, then they almost decided not to fly him until 5:00 in the afternoon. Okay...patience? Really? TODAY??? He was precious as always...but that didn't negate the fact that he was stressed, I was stressed and words could have gone a flyin'. My dare was...if I couldn't think of anything nice to keep my mouth shut. Even with him all the way in Orlando, beautiful, sunny Orlando while I'm here listening to the ice blow and hit my roof waiting for the electricity to flicker into oblivion, my lip is bleeding from biting it so hard because...that's right...I'm jealous. But I did it!! This is going to be harder than I thought. I'm not sure how much interaction I'll have with him tomorrow, I may need to keep working on this patience thing one more day before we move to day two...we shall see.

I Dare Me

2010-01-27T10:19:00.001-08:00

Since today is the official day of my new "single" life, I want to start it as right as I possibly can. Yes, I'm aware I'm living in sin, living with a man that isn't my husband. I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. I actually liked my little home that was mine all mine. But when I quit my job and couldn't find one fast enough, my beloved brought the proposal of being a stay at home mom again and it's something I just couldn't pass up. You see, I am very much in love with this man. Very much. He treats me like a queen. He challenges me on just about everything EVERY single day. He has a brilliant mind that perplexes and excites me. He is a mans man which I am not use to. We watch football together, yell at the screen together. We watch ufc and both cringe when there's a total ko. We sit next to each other after a long day, he watches tv to decompress, I knit to decompress, and I get wrapped up in how content and happy he makes me. I love watching him be a daddy to his kids and mine. He treats my children just like his own, (something Tony never did. There was an obvious difference in the way he treated Princess vs. the way he treated Tadpole and it always bothered me). When I'm reading he always wants to hear about my book. He CARES about me and what I do!!! It's magical :) So, no, we can't be married right now because he is still fighting for custody of his children, but we know our road is in that direction and that will be our destination. The girls already refer to each other as sisters and informed us that they want to be the flower girls in our wedding. He and I have both built our lives around a person, only to have that person toss us to the side, lie to us, manipulate us, tip the top and watch our worlds crash down around us. We know that hurt...our hearts mirror each others in that area. So we both want this to last. We never want to go down that painful path again. We want our children to see a solid, stable, loving relationship/marriage. We want to look at each other 20 years from now and see the same sparkle in each other's eyes we see now, knowing we put it there. So, with all that being said, I am going to begin the Love Dare. It's a 40 day journey that I really look forward to and hope you will begin with me. I read through day one, but will blog about it tomorrow so I can have a full day. My dare will be a little different for the first few days because (boo!) he is leaving for Florida early in the morning. But, I'm anxious to begin! Stay tuned!

It's Gonna Be A Bright Sun Shiny Day!

2010-01-27T09:11:00.000-08:00

It's official! I'm divorced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Celebrating tonight with my Mocha at Bonefish!

All Better

2010-01-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back after an unexpected hiatus. Two little creatures got a stomach bug, then when they got better they thought it would be sweet to share, so gave it to mommy. I was joyously out of commission for 2 days. Still trying to get things moved, it's not working very well with Mocha's crazy schedule and the fact that we are truck less. He leaves Thursday for Florida and I am NOT looking forward to it, no, that's not right, I'm DREADING it. To comfort myself a little I bought some new needles and some yummy yarn to begin a project. There is a great volunteer organization now that makes prayer shawls. They pray for the person the entire time they are working on the shawl and send it to someone in need. The one I'm going to begin working on will go to a family who had a loved one in the military that they lost overseas. I'm anxious to begin...but...I would like to have my furniture in my house first!!!!! Speaking of which, I need to go lessen this pile of laundry. Here are some pictures. Princess got a cookbook from my mom for Christmas and the first thing she tried to make were these scrumptious floats. It is pineapple juice, pineapple sorbet, and carbonated water. I absolutely loved it and drank all mine. She took my drink of hers, made a disgusted face, poured it out and said, "I need chocolate immediately. That was disgusting." Eh...everyone's a critic.

Blink Blink

2010-01-14T11:38:00.000-08:00

Was this what the world looked like this whole time? I've been standing in one, horrible, depressing, painful spot for over half a year now with the world spinning by. I didn't know things had changed. I didn't know things had remained the same. I'm in love. I'm happy. I'm doing what I love the most in this world, taking care of my family at home. I feel like I've been on a mental vacation and my eyes are finally opening and for the first time in hundreds of days, seeing the light. It's blinding, it's bright, it's almost painful to step into, but only because I'm trying to open my eyes and run to it so fast. I'm still new to it, but the warmth will flood over me, caress me, kiss me, welcome me back. Aaaahhh....yes...it's good to be back.

Quoth The Raven?

2010-01-14T05:49:00.000-08:00

It is 7:49 in the am...I've been awake since 7, but still there is no coffee flowing through these veins of mine yet. Hum...this will be an interesting experiment...how well can I write minus the daily jolt I can't live without? So, I'm sitting here on my bed, kids are upstairs playing and looking out my window my yard is covered, absolutely covered with crows. It's such a dark, dreary day anyway, this just somehow makes it drearier. My yard is facing away from any chance of direct sunlight ever hitting it, so there is still snow from a week ago on the sidewalk. A car will drive by and they all ascend into the big tree of which my horticulture knowledge is lacking and I don't know what kind it is. Then they all make a swoosh around the sky only to land right back down in the yard. It's quite a fascinating site at now 7:53 in the morning...I'm enjoying it. Kind of takes me back to my Poe days...ah...once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary...that's just good stuff people! And my mind is reaching its end...okay, a paragraph...not bad.

Just Because Something Good Ends, Doesn't Mean Something Better Can't Take It's Place

2010-01-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

And I have found better.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.

Enjoying It While I Can

2010-01-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have an amazing daughter...she is unlike anyone I have ever met. She is brilliant, and I don't just say that because she's mine, I mean she is really really a smart person. I watch her grow everyday and my heart swells with pride all the time. She is most defiantly and completely a daddies girl though, which thrills me to no end. I watch her and her father with a flood of emotions...I wish I had a relationship like that with my dad, I am hopeful she won't fall in the mindset that I unfortunately did of needing a man around to feel validated...because she has daddy, who thinks she hung the moon and stars, so that is good enough. So, I let that part of my heart that wanted to be the number one parent in her eyes fall the side, and just enjoy the relationship we do have. But, then I've got this boy...this one is mine all mine. Momma's boy, through and through. I stand in the kitchen cooking lunch and he toddles over to me, only stands a little taller than my knee and kisses my leg, the entire time I cook. If he hurts himself...he will pass through whatever and whoever he needs to get through to get to mommy's arms. We lay in bed and name the parts of our face and giggle and kiss and then fall asleep. Oh these days are so fleeting. Oh too soon he will be rolling his eyes when I ask for a kiss before I hand him the keys to the car. Oh, I'm so enjoying what I've got...from both of them, while I still can.

Eh...Screw It

2009-12-18T16:49:00.001-08:00

That's what I say! I miss blogging :( I miss THIS blog. So, I saw a big bah humbug to those of you who don't like what I have to say...love me or leave me alone :)

So, what's been going on. Umm...nuthin. Still managing Marketplace. Still putting in applications wherever I can. I had an interview yesterday at a church as an administrator. Okay, the pastor was WEIRD. I really would like to have the job, but man, he was a strange character. I find that I don't interview well at all. I try so hard not to be nervous, and if it's a restaurant/retail position, I'm not. I have 10 years of experience in those types of places, and pretty much none in an office field. But, I know my way around the Internet, I can type 80wpm, I am fluent in all Microsoft office programs, and know the gist of quickbooks...but try convincing someone to just give me a chance...hasn't happened yet. But, I'll continue to plug away. I'm just ready to do something different. I'm looking at Petra Allied Health to take some courses in the summer, for either medical coding/billing or medical transcription. I would even consider a cna position if a company would scholarship me...but even if they don't, it's extremely affordable.

Today is Michael's birthday! Happy birthday Mikie!!! I'm sure there will be a plethora of pictures of this special day on his blog.

Most of the kids Christmas shopping is done. Tight crunch this year, but I have two amazing blessings to report: #1-my best friend Cherri gave me lo's of toys her son Ezra has outgrown...that will save a ton for Tadpole. #2-I e-mailed my landlord last week apologizing for not being able to pay rent in full, she was very sweet and understanding and said she would wave the late fees...AND she said that a family wanted to adopt and "bless" my kids and my little family for Christmas :) It could be either helping me with my utility bills/rent, or buying my babies gifts. I said either one would be an incredible blessing and just cried and cried after reading the e-mail. Princess came in and saw me wiping my tears with my sleeve and said, "Why are you crying momma?" I just smiled and said, "I'm just happy, sometimes mommy gets overwhelmed because God is soo good and takes good care of us." She said, "yeah, I know." :) Such a circle of life...last year we were the ones helping families struggling through the holidays, now we are the charity. I will not forget this, and when I'm back on my feet the blessings will happily be returned.

Shuttin' Her Down

2009-11-23T11:39:00.001-08:00

Since I am incapable of writing what is on my heart and mind without receiving ignorant e-mails from self-righteous individuals who have no idea that this tiny little box that I type in is barely a scratch on the surface of life, so they feel they can take it upon themselves to "right me", I fear I have zero desire to continue on. Thank you to those who read this, got a chuckle, tilted your head and thought, "huh....never knew or thought of it that way". Thank you to those of you who don't understand but love me no matter what. Thank you to those who do understand and love me all the more. Mom, you're the best. I'm sorry I've worried you and made you fret, but I got tired of living in the dark with certain things that may help people. I'm better and I want to thank you for...even though not entirely understanding wanting to help. Thank you all my cousins who supply unlimited support. Thank you to my friends from church that continue to e-mail me and facebook me and remind me that you love me. I love you and want to thank you so very much for your encouragement. Thank you to all my homeschool mommies who have shown me that it is still important and possible to continue this endeavour no matter how much life has changed.

I won't close it because I think it's a great journal for my children. It pains me that certain people only comment when things I write aren't as sunny as they use to be. Every day gets easier, every day I'm understanding this new life a little better, and I am a happy girl. I'm sorry I opened up my heart and my life to you, time to close it up.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

Terrible twos. Whoever coined that phrase is smarter than Einstein. My son is two, and is TERRIBLE. My mom gets mad at me whenever I, "Talk about the boy like that", but then again when she is around him he's just a mass of fluff and love. When I'm around him, he screams, and screams and SCREAMS. That is his main source of communication and why I have no idea. I use to ignore Princess when she would scream, (which was never as loud or obnoxious) and she would stop. Easy as pie. She wouldn't get any attention that she obviously needed so she would quiet down and ask..in her own language of course, nicely what she needed. So, that being my only way of parenting thus far, I gave it a go with Tadpole. Yeah right. He gets louder, and my head pounds harder. I swat him, he looks at me like, "Is there something on my pants your trying to get off?" then AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Ah, as I sit here and type he is screaming. Yeah verily I say unto you, TERRIBLE. Even though it's a happy squeal, it's ssssoooo lllooouuuddd. So last night was picture night. Mikie and I just made it one trip with both kids. So, Sears says to get there 15 minutes early. So, there we were, 15 minutes early, and they didn't get to us (yes we had an appointment) until an HOUR after our scheduled time. It was torture with Mr. Terrible. Thank goodness for Michael and his complete and utter knowledge of how stressed out I get in situations like that as he just grabbed him, flipped him upside down, looked at me and said, "Remain calm Jessica." Hahaha...the Princess, being the perfect little momma would chase him when I couldn't run fast enough in my heels and say, "Tadpole, I said no sir and I mean no sir." Finally we got in, the pictures turned out fabulous, and the screaming continued while we tried to pick out pictures. He was tired and hungry which meant optimum volume. I could barely hear the girl as she was trying to sell us the most expensive packages they had. So, love you mom, but truly...this phase is terrible!!

Money Changes Everything

2009-11-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

....and oh buddy...things have changed. I use to not think about money at all. Ever. I always had plenty. I wasn't a big spender on anything we didn't need, so as long as the bills were paid, kids had clothes, and we ate heartily 3 times a day, we were happy kids. But when times came around for me to buy things off the beaten path, it was never an issue. We were well taken care of. So, last night I went shopping for their Christmas clothes. I went to old navy because I love their stuff and wanted to throw up at the prices! Just for princess alone: $20 skirt, $30 sweater, $20 sparkly shoes to match the skirt. Yes, a year ago I wouldn't have paid any attention to the price tag. What a difference a year makes. So I browsed around for Tads something, same deli ma. Fortunately Khol's was right next door and I was able to find something much prettier and much more reasonably priced for both kids. Yes, I still spent more than I should have, but I haven't been able to buy them anything in a really long time. So Princess got a beautiful purple sparkly dress, and Taddy got a handsome little man outfit, but for him I splurged on boots. I got him some Woody (from Toy Story) boots. They even say Andy on the bottom...just like the movie. So, will we be able to eat something other than MarketPlace (because it's free), or Red Robin (free again) until I get paid next week, maybe. Will we have gas to go further than our circle of places? Doubtful. Have I written a letter to my landlord explaining I won't be able to pay rent in full and will have to make payments? Yup. But then I look at my boy. Silly, happy, chubby. He has a raging foot fetish and talks to my feet all the livelong day. That hasn't changed. My girl, who is sitting next to me practicing her spelling words, jabbering on and on about Pokemon and her friends at treehouse, that hasn't changed. So, the Christmas tree (if we can afford one, our Christmas tree was stolen) won't have nearly as many presents under it this year, but that's ok. We will still sit around watching Christmas movies, telling the Christmas story, laughing, playing, drinking hot chocolate, and watching Tadpole kiss our socked feet just like we would any other time. So, maybe I was wrong. Money doesn't change EVERYthing....at least not the important things.

Hot Date

2009-11-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

Work let me off early tonight because they are working me twelve hours tomorrow. I want to cry. Starting today, the only day I get off for the next two weeks is Thanksgiving. I need a vacation just looking at my schedule for the next two months. So, with the unexpected knowledge that I had freedom tonight, kind of my last supper, I grabbed my main guy and we went to Outback. It was so nice being able to just sit, relax, enjoy some funny stories, eat some yummy food, make fun of stupid people, and be on a real, honest to goodness date. We sat and talked and ate leisurely for two hours. It was heaven. Funny how simple things like that you miss after you haven't had them in ages. Then we went back to his house where his mom was dropping his kids off. We all four snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie. Then they were off to bed and I was off to home. I even got a goodnight kiss at the door....swoon. Just like a real date. It was great. To bed with me before my next month of being shackled to the walls of MarketPlace :) Thank you Aaron for making my last supper a grand one! See you in 2010!

She's Had Me In Stitches

2009-11-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

This little blonde girl of mine has been cracking me UP lately! Yesterday she informed me that Sarah (Palin) has a new book coming out and we need to buy two copies, one for her and one for me as she won't let me borrow her copy. Yes, she is 8 going on...I don't even know anymore. Then yesterday during our latin lesson I said, "Quid est tuum prenonomen?" Which means "Tell me what your name is." To which she was suppose to say, "Meum prenomen est Princess." Instead I said, "Quid est tuum prenomen", looked at her stone cold, serious face with just the slightest bit of confusion behind her eyes, then she inhaled, hesitated for a second and said, "Uh, si'." Bawhahaha...that crazy kid.

Had She Been A Twig, I Would Have Snapped Her

2009-11-11T15:04:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how just a few moments or seconds in your day can ruin it..completely. That was the case today as I was running some deliveries at work. I was a mere 10 minutes behind schedule because two deliveries were right on top of each other. The girl was going BALLISTIC. When I got there I was snarly greeted by the skinniest, grumpiest b i t c h I have ever in my life encountered. I wasn't moving fast enough, I wasn't setting things out correctly, I wasn't impressed with the "facility" they worked in that she kept trying to impress me with. Your a walmart vendor...get over your twiggy self. After I was done helping the biddy set food out she slung spoons at me and said, "Here, I don't need these. And you brought us too much tea. Take it and your boxes, goodbye." So standing there, mouth agape that someone could be so incredibly rude to another person and SERIOUSLY think they were so much above me, I struggled to fit boxes under my arm while balancing a gallon of tea in my hand. Three men stood there watching me, not a one offered to help. I didn't even make it to the elevator and I was crying. In the car calling Aaron, "I haaaate my job!!!" He consoled me the best he could, poor boy, then I got to work and my friend Gabby came over and hugged me saying, "I'm sorry you had to go to her. She's a fiery bitch huh?" YES! Yes she is!!! Okay, it wasn't me, she's an evil wretch. Next time I'm gonna just have to snap that twig in half.

To The Safty Of Strong Arms

2009-11-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish I was little and could reach up to someone I trust to hold me for awhile until I'm done feeling scared or throwing a tantrum then put me down to run along, knowing they arn't far behind me when I fall down again. But...I'm not :) I'm grown, but I get the joy of watching my little one reach up to someone he trusts and know he will be safe there until he wiggles away.

Have You Hugged A Cutter Today?

2009-11-10T19:48:00.001-08:00

Most posts here will be light and breezy...because even throughout the chaos that is my life...95% of the time that's how it is. One day, one hour, one minute, one second is taken as it comes...one at a time. This post however, not one of them.

I use to cut myself. Alot. I never told or showed anyone. I mostly did it on my upper thigh, sometimes my upper stomach, but mostly my thigh. I did it until I found out I was pregnant with Tadpole and then stopped. Completely. I had no desire to anymore. All my extra time was taken preparing for this little miracle to come. Then he was born, and even after major stresses would come my way I continued to not cut. It was wonderful. I really thought I had grown out of it. Then, the divorce. I went through my intense depression bout...it lasted a good week and a half and I was put on 48 hour psychiatric watch for attempted suicide. So, guess what I did to feel better? That's right, I cut. Alot. Not my legs...my left arm. All up. Aaron, (whom you will hear plenty more about later), took care of me during that week, calling people to come take care of me, taking off work, trying really hard to dress the wounds but I wouldn't let him. We have pictures of my arm but I'll spare you. Then medication got adjusted and I started feeling better. But the beast had been unleashed. He was back, and I wasn't ready to put him away just yet. So as I watched those deep cuts heal and scar...I was thankful. Then last week I had a rough day at work and all I could think about was getting home and get my razor out (Aaron took my favorite one and hid it somewhere). And I did, and immediately felt SO much better.

I've heard so many reasons why people probably do it...and they all sound rational. I'm not sure why I do it. It feels really good, it feels like a release. There is something erotic about steal to flesh that I sometimes lose myself thinking about.

This picture was taken of me last week, and I sat down to try to crop out my arm...because of the cuts up and down it. That was when I decided to blog this post. I am far from alone in this. It's not a cry for help for me. I keep it all covered up and hidden until they heal. It feels good to me, it feels like a sense of control. But there are some out there that it is a cry for help. Maybe next time you're at a restaurant and you're getting irritated at the waitress for not smiling big enough, or your checking out at wal-mart and heaven forbid the checkout girl was less than friendly...look at them, LOOK at them...and you'll be surprised and heartbroken at what you see.

A Bag Of Crap

2009-11-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

Apparently if you live in government housing like I do every month you get a bag of crap. I was suspicious about my first bag of crap experience as I was unprepared for it. I walked outside and there was a large black trash bag...then I looked around and one was on everyone's doorstep. Inside I found toilet paper, paper towels, dryer sheets, sandwich bags. I was so excited! Funny how little things make you happy huh? So joy of joys this morning when I happened to glance out my bedroom window to find them loading up and dropping off this month's bags of crap! And not a moment too soon! I was just in my bathroom getting ready for the day and saw we were out of toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom, and would be until tomorrow afternoon after I get paid. Happy day! We can all use the potty worry free. Thanks uncle Sam for your joyous bags of crap!

What Chapter Am I On?

2009-11-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

I came across this long lost blog the other day while looking at posts on Michael's and videos of my offspring and realized how nice it is to look back at days past, no matter how painful they may be now...they were wonderful then, and it's nice to remember loveliness. I thought I may shut this one down and crawl into a hole...I thought I may just make a new one...but why? My life hasn't stopped and started again...it's just changed...and so will my blog. I don't have a photo album for my children to look back on...this is it...so, on to the next chapter.

The three of us are really enjoying our home. It's perfect for us. The neighborhood is nice with the exception of some bratty, noisy girls once in awhile that I occasionally have to set straight...but it's usually quiet and it's convenient to everything. Everyone has their own personal space so that is most important. Especially this growing "tween" I have now. Sheesh...I hate that term.

My job is going well. Its defiantly not something I would want to make a career out of. I enjoy the business aspect of it, but not that much :) I'd much rather be in the kitchen cooking. In fact...I find myself navigating over there more than I probably should. Just feels right.

So, with the thoughts in mind of not wanting to do that forever, I've contacted a dear friend of mine who just completed her nursing degree through the single parent scholarship and now has a great job that she loves and makes great money. She is helping me figure out where to start with all of this. And I'll be officially single in no time! Papers have been drawn and ready to be filed! Whoop whoop!

My camera chord is lost in translation so you may have to settle for some phone camera shots such as this one of Tads taken the other morning. I save a little bit of coffee at the bottom of my morning cup for him. He came into my bedroom, took it, and carried it into the living room where I found him sitting, pondering life, having his joe, starring out at the morning. Next I guess I'll have to bring him his slippers and morning paper.

G-g-g-gayness

2009-09-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

That's right folks...for the low low price of just $19.99, you can be the proud owner of the Obama Chia Pet! What a deal!!!!

Memories Go In Boxes

2009-08-29T17:53:00.001-07:00

I had a great, wonderful fun night last night with my girlfriends. We have declared Friday nights girls night. Since we're all mothers, most of us single mothers, we occasionally have to bring our little bitty boyfriends along, (the only men we like these days, the ones we gave birth to), but not last night...it was aaalll girls. We go to the same restaurant, drink the same Margarita's, make sure we sit in the same section to flirt with the same waiter, and giggle like teenagers at the same lame, mindless things we usually do. Of course sometimes the conversation can get heavy, but most of the time it's light and breezy, and I love the company of my girls. They're the best.

I had today off, so I packed up some stuff, danced alone in my living room to music I had up too loud, and posted half the things in my house on craigslist. Virtually all my furniture is too big for my new place, so I'm having to downsize. I'm referring to my new pad as "the cottage", so for reference sake...you will know. Here is a picture of the cottage. My side is the one with siding, not the brick. I'm anxious to meet my neighbors. The girl who showed me the place said it was a young Asian couple that works all the time. There are little bicycles all over the neighborhood, and I really think the majority of the people on my street are single mothers, fathers, and grandmothers who are raising their grand kids. I saw two little girls riding their bikes this morning when I drove by to blow kisses at my cottage. There is a dead end and they were just riding in circles. I see Princess making friends very quickly in this neighborhood.

Life Anew

2009-08-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

So, everything, save where I live has changed within this week. My kids have been staying with a fellow homeschooler and her 4 children. They have really been enjoying themselves. Tadpole has been a little bit more clingy than usual lately, but I know he has fun while he's there. He was having a blast when I picked them up this afternoon. I started my job on Sunday. Today was the best day thus far. I'm training for 2 weeks, then I'll take over my own shifts, I'm looking forward to that. Not just because it's always more fun to be the boss...but because I HATE these new chef hats they have...I look like...well...a dude. I find myself beefing up my makeup..something I never do, and putting studs in my ears to prove I am, in fact, female. Because even under those black chef coats everyone is incredibly unisex. When I'm the manager, I can wear just regular business clothes...thank goodness! Everyone there is really sweet...and...spanish. They all talk to each other in Spanish all day long, sometimes they forget and talk to me in Spanish, then see the glazed look on my face and it reminds them to revert back to English. They all crack up when I give a Spanish word, or sentence a go...but I'm determined to learn! I don't missing what they are all laughing at...sometimes I'm afraid it's me ;) And I've found myself on several occasions saying "oyie" and "eiiyeeiiieee". And I'll be signing the lease and getting the keys to my new townhouse on Sept. 1st. I have a picture of it and will post it soon. It is SO cute...I'm really REALLY excited to move. So, moving on, moving forward...and it feels so good.

Doldrums

2009-08-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

That is where I have been living lately. It's really odd...one day I'm full of hope, ready to face whatever the day throws at me, then after a night of sleep, I awake with the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, scared to peak out from under the covers. Yesterday was kind of an unexpected combination of both...I awoke with great optimism, ready to go full force, then somewhere around lunch time, and time to go grocery shopping, it hit me...the pain...just all at once...hit me, hard. I cried, and sobbed, and wept, up and down every isle of wal-mart. I bit my lip in the beginning as to not look like a lunatic, then after the first tear escaped, I gave in, and gave up. I cried picking which roast to purchase, I cried pulling down a box of Snapple, I sniffled while thanking the check out girl, I sobbed big ugly tears the whole way home. I defiantly think I'm in the grieving stage. Not necessarily for the marriage, but for the life I had, I'm reminded of it daily. The home I live in was OUR home, the groceries I bought was for OUR dinners, the bed I sleep in was OUR bed, the shows on our dvr were OUR shows we enjoyed watching together after the day beat us into submission and back into eachother's arms. And now that the new reality is just a stones throw away, I'm anxious and terrified. I'm worried about Princess' schooling...Michael is very adamant about not sending her to public school...but I don't know if I'm confident enough to continue. I'm worried about what will happen to Tadpole while I'm working...my hours will be odd, and I want to be there every night to put him and Princess to bed, I have a bad feeling those nights are numbered. Life isn't fair...life isn't fair....life isn't fair. Oh how I wish I could fast forward to a year from now and see how wonderful and settled I know we will be. Laugh at the days gone by and how silly I was a year ago worried about the future, because it is so much better than anyone could imagine. Where is that damn fast forward button?

Gearing Up

2009-08-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, and I'm gearing up for weekend number 2 as an official single woman. Last weekend I felt lost, oooohhhh soooo lost. This weekend I have plans, as to not feel the horrible lost feeling. Tonight I'm going out with my girl Cherri...(I call her Bing...because it's my favorite kind of cherry :) to have Margarita's and talk and giggle girl stuff. Tomorrow I actually do get my boy for the morning...I don't feel lost with him...I feel right at home. Tomorrow afternoon I'll go up to Marketplace and fill out my employment sheets...maybe ask them if I can start then...as to avoid the lost feeling. Hopefully by then I'll be comfortable with the aloneness and be able to enjoy a movie and a slice of pizza. It's defiantly different, this being single thing. It's kind of nice being able to be able to go out on a Friday night...like maybe...any other 28 year old :) I don't have a curfew...but I am still a mommy...so I'm sure the age and sleepiness will get me around 9:00 and bedtime will be a callin'.

Finally Facing The Monster

2009-08-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

Have I been avoiding my blog? Oh absolutely. Princess was on my laptop this morning, and as I walked through the living room I saw her looking at pictures from my blog. Ah, memories.

I wasn't sure how to handle this, end it here, start a new one, continue with a fresh outlook? I finally decided on the last one. This was meant to be a journaling of my life, and, no matter what, this is it.

I can't even believe I'm typing this, but here goes. My husband and I are getting a divorce. Wow...even just reading it back, the black and white of it is eerie. But there it is...my husband and I are getting a divorce. This marriage is no more.

I won't go into details at this time, that last paragraph was hard enough to get out of my fingers. A new life is about to begin for my children and I..just the three of us. I'm terrified, anxious, confused, but...a little excited. A chapter has ended, so a new one must begin. I will be going back to work at Marketplace, I will be finding a new place to call home, it will be a struggle, but also a learning experience, and an adventure.

Stay tuned! No matter what, the future will be bright!

Where's George?

2009-07-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

At some various business establishment I recieved as change a $1 bill that had the Where's George stamp on it and the website to visit to track George. This apparently has been around since the late 90's but this is the first I've seen...or paid attention to. It was fun getting on the website to see where this little George had been. Actually not very far. He was first entered in Houston Texas, and it took him 37 days (they record it by the minute!) to get to us! So, I hope when he is spent, some loony bird like us will be a geek and enter it online so we can track little Georgie. Have you ever seen/done this? A fun thing to do with a little 8 year old :)

Two Handsome Men

2009-07-24T08:39:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm still here :) and hopefully with the summer winding down and school preperations bringing me back to reality...I'll be able to blog much more...I miss you!!! And yes, I've been having an affair with Facebook...but it's you I love ;-) While I gear up for a good written blogpost...enjoy the sites of these two dashingly handsome men...my dad and my son. My dad taught my boy how to call the hogs, a must if you're from Arkansas...he's a natural.

Big Night, Not A Single Picture

2009-07-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to slack off in my old age. First, I thought the festivities that happened last night were actually going to be tonight...then I forgot to pack my camera when I was told it was in fact last night. Sheesh...and it's all downhill from here.

Family and another couple went on the boat yesterday afternoon. The couple has a 3 year old girl and a 7 month old boy. That little girl just stole my heart away. She acts just like Princess did when she was that little. They got along great, they played mermaids the whole time in the water. We cozied up to a little area by the dam and poor hubby worked his tiny tail off to make us lunch. For some reason he decided to cook on the land instead of leaving everything on the boat...so he went back and forth, floating our food and grill over. Weirdo. But lunch was delicious...yummy hot dogs, chips and sweet tea. Then it was time to load up and head over to where the fireworks were going to be. I always love that...relaxing, watching the children pass the time, chatting, of course enjoying a super cold corona. Then the fireworks began. I asked my husband where the air horns were so we could blow it at the ones we really liked. He said they were so expensive at wal-mart. $20 for a big one $8 a little one. Sigh...cheapo. So, whenever we saw one or two that we liked, all the kids went "honk honk" really loud. Tadpole was so tired, and his "honk" was very pitiful...but it was there, the little trooper. The display was beautiful as it always is. When it ended and most of the people in a hurry to leave dissipated, we left for home. My husband has this uncanny ability to read the way the hills slop and certain landmarks to know exactly where he is on the lake. It's really quite impressive. Not so much last night. Somewhere in all the fun he left behind that sixth sense and we got lost....really lost. Princess and the little girl were in the cabin playing, the mother was in the cabin putting the baby to sleep, both men were standing there trying to figure out where the heck we were, and I was sitting on the back, a snoozing tadpole on my lap, wrapped up in a blanket wondering if I'd ever see land again. We eventually made it out, Princess and I sprinted hand in hand to the nearest bathroom, and we all said farewell and went our separate ways. We got home around 1:30am. But the kids held up surprisingly well, I was really proud (and thankful) of them.

Tonight's festivities include a fellow on the fire department that has invited us to his land. He's invited about a hundred people. He is providing free food, free drinks, he'll have two fire trucks parked in the field for the kids to climb around on. He spent $10,000 on fireworks for us to watch. Geez...who has that kind of money?? So that should be interesting. Then tomorrow after church I plan to take the longest nap known in the history of mankind. I'm getting too old for this.

Friends & Family

2009-07-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an absolutely lovely day. My friend Sonia came over to work on Treehouse stuff, and, let's face it...gossip :) Her and her PRECIOUS 3 boys came over around 10:30am, and didn't leave until almost 6. Time FLEW by. I had so much fun brainstorming with her, giggling, snuggling with her newborn, watching the kids play together. My daughter...good grief...Sonia's middle son came in asking if she had $.50...I thought that was odd...seeing as how we don't have a vending machine in the house, but oh well. A few minutes later her older son came out asking if she had $.75...okay, now I know somethings up...and I bet it has to do with that child of mine. I turned around and sure enough, there she was standing in the hallway waiting to hear the fate of the money. I asked the boy what he needed the money for and he said, "I want to buy one of Princess' pictures". Sigh. She has an "art gallery" in her room, and often it is a traveling art show. My dad has purchased a picture or two from her, and now, so is one of her best friends. So Sonia, being the doll she is, said they could scrounge around in the car to find some. Sigh...where in the world did this little girl come from? Really? Where?

Today we went to my grandparents house and I was greeted by one lovely person after another. My sister that lives in Florida was visiting with her husband and two children. Princess was beyond excited to see her kids. It was like they had never been apart. I love that. It was great being in their presence, listening to their stories. Then my other sister arrived and we kissed the grandparents on the head (they were too tired to join us) and went to the casino next door to eat. This was my first experience going to a casino. It was...depressing! That's the only thing I can say. I stood there while we were waiting to go into the restaurant watching these people sit there with this glaze look on their faces just hitting a big red button over and over and over again. I wondered how many of them this was just their daily routine. It was still morning after all. But, then I pretty much forgot about them when I saw the mecca of food :) It was...magical. Not only magical...but CLEAN. This was hands down the cleanest buffet I've ever seen. It was really delicious, but Tadpole was really sleepy and restless so we had to leave much earlier than I would have liked. Two days filled with friends and family...life is gooooood

Ethnic Shopping

2009-06-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

I love the local Hispanic grocery store down the road. I know in different cities in different states they have communities where they can get authentic Indian fare, Asian, or Italian. In my neck of the woods it's Hispanic. Right by our neighborhood grocery store is a Hispanic super market called, "la mora"...it is AWESOME. I don't like to go there by myself because my Spanish is horrid...however it IS better than my husbands, but after he tries to communicate how many ponds of chicken he wants I love hearing him say "oh, mas...mas...si! Gracia's"..it's hysterical...even the employees get a kick out of it. There's nothing fancy about it...in fact, it's always really cold in there and a little creepy. But all the employees are super helpful, even if they can't understand you, and very helpful. Their meat department has some of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Next time we go I"ll have to take my camera. Their produce is SO cheap...I take that back...EVERYthing is SO cheap. It's awesome. My mostest excellent scrumptious thing...is their marinated chicken. It is already sliced, marinated, mixed with peppers and onions...take that puppy home, grill it up, slap it on a flour or corn tortilla, pop open a corona with a lime slice and you're eating what feels like take out! Awesome. So...go visit your local ethnic grocery store for a change! You'll be glad you did!

The Show Must Go On

2009-06-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

So hubby is almost completely recovered, bubby still isn't quite back to himself, but he was more himself than he has been all week (thank you LORD)...but I woke up this morning achy, tired, chest hurting...oh lovely. No time to lay in bed and feel crappy...it was baby bear's birthday! So we three slugs got around, made some breakfast and played with toys. Then my mommy came over, we had a superior lunch thanks to kabob making extraordinaire husband, then it was time for cake. He basically could have cared less...I think the candle kind of scared him. He still isn't that interested in the cake. Maybe tomorrow. THEN it was time for the grand finale...the truck. He got a Chevrolet silverado pick up. He loved it!!! It took him a little bit, but he finally figured out how to push the "gas" pedal with his feet. He still doesn't have the concept of steering...he crashes into the fence, then we back him up, turn him around, and he crashes into the other side. His sister, who was with her dad, walked down to our house to wish her bubby a happy birthday. I told her I wanted her to drive his truck to show him how to do it. She got in and drove him around the backyard in a circle for about 20 minutes. She loved it, it almost lulled him to sleep. So, even though we were all dragging in various stages of dragdom, it was a great day, a great day to celebrate a great little guy.

Happy Birthday My Cheeky Little Monkey

2009-06-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

I love you son. I can't believe we've only known each other for 2 years. Time goes in circles. I can't believe you're already two, I can't fathom a life without you in it. You and your sister are my greatest accomplishments. What a privilege to be your mommy, what a joy to watch you grow. I love you sweet son. Happy birthday!!!!

Verdict Is In

2009-06-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

It's bronchitis :( I begged...seriously...short of dropping to my knees, begged to give him a shot so I wouldn't have to give him medicine. She considered it, but then decided against it...sigh. It was awful...just like I knew it would be trying to hold him down and give him 2 different kinds of iffy smelling medicine. After that we just both laid down and cried each other to sleep. Praying tomorrow is better! Daddy picked up a really awesome Chevy Silverado powerwheels truck for tadpole's birthday...i hope he's better by his birthday Sunday. I can't wait to watch him drive it!!!

Lives On Hold

2009-06-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

Nobody in this house has slept all week. I feel like those zombies they have in the movies. I thought the boy for sure would be better by today. In fact, there are moments throughout each day we see a glimmer of the regular boy...but it is soon replaced by non stop crying and the need to be held by NO ONE else but mommy. I can't leave his sight. If he falls asleep and I sneak out, within 10 minutes he is up crying looking for me. He goes to the bathroom with me. Yeah, I admit I just had a minor breakdown while trying to navigate through the kitchen to make breakfast, and most importantly COFFEE. My SWEET, WONDERFUL mommy came over yesterday to help out. She must have sensed my desperation via e-mail :) It gave me a chance to sneak out of the house with Princess and go to wal-greens to get provisions. Even though that was the only place we went...it was SO nice to get out of the house for a glimmer. I sat in the car and took a looooong sigh. Husband was nice enough to sleep with him, but I was awake laying there listening to them wrestle the night away. We did find some fever suppositories yesterday at the drug store...I didn't even know those things existed!!! It was magical. Who knew finding something to stick up a tiny hiny would make me jump for joy, but it did!!! It reduced his fever, but he's still miserable, EVERYbody is miserable. We called to make an appt. with his pediatrician, but found out that he moved to Tulsa!!! Again...a good cry. This is doctor number two this year that has moved :( So, new doctor that I already don't like as much as Dr. James at 10. Maybe he can prescribe us all some sleeping pills? Yes? Maybe?

You're Still Here???

2009-06-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Oh man...hey you cute thing...I've missed you! How ya been????

Why haven't I blogged lately??? I dunno!!!! I haven't been gallivanting across the world, I've been right here by the lake..trying to keep my children cool and my plants from dying.

Nothing much has really happened...yawn...I'm boring myself. At the moment I have a boy in the bedroom running a 101 degree fever, and a husband stretched out on the couch sick as well. That's always delightful. I'm sure we'll be going to the doctor sometime tomorrow. I hate it...oh almost an unnatural hate when these babies get sick. I don't sleep...I feel like I'm constantly on call. Sweet ones...that poor little bitty fella of mine refuses to take medicine, so I'm just waiting for the fever to break. He has been so sweet today. I've done little more than held him as he drifted in and out of sleep, head not wanting to move any where..just stayed on my chest.

Okay, I love you!!! I missed you!!! I do have some pictures to share of better days...I'll try to get those up tomorrow.

I Love My Job

2009-06-02T17:53:00.001-07:00

I get to get up every day and take care of my home and these three beautiful people every day. I am blessed beyond words. Sometimes it's almost too overwhelming.

Christy

2009-06-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

Do you remember this series from tv? I use to watch it every...hum...I think it was on Sunday nights? It's been many moons since then, but I do remember watching it religiously. I loved it. I love the pretty, strong willed teacher that cared more about the children she taught than her own comfort.

I found the entire series on craigslist for $15. They are vhs...but I'm no snob :) We have a little tv and video player set up in the classroom. I thought this would be a great series for Princess and I to begin watching.

So last night after dinner, the boys went to mow the lawn, (well, Hubs mowed, Tadpole dozed off in his lap...he always falls asleep when they mow lawn, it's so cute), and I showed Princess the series all excited. She snarled her nose and said, "Can't we watch something else? I don't wanna watch that." Heartbroken, and yes, a little annoyed that she doesn't have more faith in my taste, I said that was fine, I would watch it alone. I curled up on the little classroom couch with my ice tea and knitting and began to go back in time to 1912 and Cutter Gap. I heard some rustling in the next room, then I saw her go over to the book shelf, then low and behold she came over, sat next to me and said, "Ahem...momma...I changed my mind. I wanna watch." I snuggled next to her and for the next hour we were transported to another time. By the time the credits rolled she was begging to watch the next. Ah ha! Success!!! First thing this morning she brought the next video to me. It was so great to watch again. I have to say, it was strange when Christy addressed God in the field and prayed. It's amazing how far we've come. I haven't seen that in a tv show since then. So sad.

We also got a wii last night, but I'm incompetent and can't hook it up, so we have to wait another day for hubs to hook it up for us.

Delilah is back!!!!!!!! And better than ever! Pictures soon!

I Love My Home...But...

2009-06-01T06:45:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I love where I live. Well, it's home, I've never lived anywhere else. I wanted to...Lord knows I spent half my childhood dreaming about getting out of "stupid, hickville, podunk Arkansas", but now I couldn't leave it if you paid me.

That being said, and obviously this isn't the Arkansas I grew up in (thanks Wal-Mart) there are several events that take place in the summer, almost right on top of each other I just hate:

~Biker Rallies
~Fishing tournaments (wouldn't be so noticeable if you don't live by the lake...ahem...but I do..they're a rude, snobby bunch)
~Craft fairs...yes, I said it, I love crafts, I hate the crowds

There will be another, bigger biker rally in the fall which I despise. Also a bigger craft fair in the fall...again...blech

But the worst of all worst is the Wal-Mart shareholder's meeting. Oh, I cringe when it comes to town. I especially hate going grocery shopping. I'll be standing in an isle trying to keep a toddler happy with one arm while trying to decide tonight's dinner, when a herd of Asians with camera's come around the corner talking in their native tounge so loudly and laughing, while the three piece suit guide is telling them a bunch of bs about spaghetti sauce. I smile, scoot my cart and screaming child out of THEIR way while they snap pictures of the all great American landmark. Move it along folks, I just want to get my pasta and get outta here.

So, yes, I'm a summer time Scrooge when it comes to these groups. I look forward to the weekends when everyone is busy doing the other great and wonderful things NWA is planning for them, and we get the lake to ourselves.

A Humble Movie Review

2009-05-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

So last night the boys and I went to see Disney/Pixar's newest flick Up (Princess had no desire to see it...she's funny like that about movies). Oh man, do I have plenty to say about this movie.

First of all, it's a 3d movie which in itself is awesome. I hadn't seen a 3d movie in ages. Tadpole obviously wouldn't keep the glasses on, but he enjoyed it anyway. He was a gem the entire time.

There was an unexpected love story in this movie, of which I was moved to tears, not once but TWICE!!! The true, genuine romance between Carl & Elie was just the sweetest thing. Yes, I cry at cartoons, get over it.

The old man Carl was just awesome, his little sidekick Russell was adorable and hilarious. Dog was a hoot, and Kevin was precious. I L O V E D this movie and will rave and rave about it. If you have kids or not, go see this movie. Girls, seriously, be prepared to at least get a little misty. Oh...such a sweet little movie.

28

2009-05-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Today is my 28th birthday. Man, I can't believe it. Ya know, the whole time I was young I heard older people talk on and on about how fast time goes and I scoffed every time. I couldn't wait to be an adult, to have children of my own, I thought I'd be working at wal-mart because I loved watching them type in numbers and scan things, (I still like to self check out when I can...I just love that scanning). Even when I was older and had a newborn at the age of 20 and seemed to nurse ALL day and ALL night, I thought time went way too slow. And here I am...28, my 10 year high school reunion is this year, that little infant will be 8 years old in two months, and I have another "baby" that grows faster than I care to keep up. I hold on to him as much as I can, as much as he'll let me. What have I learned so far in 28 years? Time DOES go way too fast, true love really can see you through hard times, family is the most important thing this side of heaven, God never stops covering and holding me, kids are more precious than life. It's been a good birthday so far. We went to my mom's for lunch, and we're getting ready to go see Up where I'm certain Tadpole will eat most of the jumbo popcorn :) Cheers! Here's to 28 more!

Too Darn Smart

2009-05-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

My son, my one, almost 2 year old son learned how to open the front door several weeks ago. So immediately following that days were spent guarding the door from the little escape convict. So hubby put a slide lock up high so he couldn't reach it. It works beautifully. He has dragged several things in there from time to time in hopes of reaching it, but gave up because it is just too high. Even Princess has to jump up and down to unlock it, and she's too short to lock it back. So, I was sitting in the living room this morning knitting, and in waltz's my son with the broom. You see where this is going huh? He stood in front of the door, broom in hand, and worked the handle on that lock until it slid up. He threw down the broom, unlocked the bottom lock, opened the door and tasted sweet freedom while his sister and I just sat there, mouth's open to that crafty little man. I've never seen anything like this child in my life.

Quick Recap

2009-05-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

Well, my dearest dell laptop, Delilah is off to the dell hospital to be repaired. She is having minor surgery and my heart has been lost without the dear, ol' gal. Mostly because I'm at the mercy of the computer in my daughter's room, and the rare occasions Hubs leaves his unattended, (he's in the bathroom right now so I have approximately 2.5 minutes to blog).

Things are busy busy here. I thought for sure the warmer weather would bring with it a slow down. Not so much. Princess is heading off to history camp in a week, I'm furiously trying to finish a baby blanket for a baby shower on Tuesday, Hubs has been all over the place lately...but was sweet enough to spend his memorial day putting up fence posts for the fence he's building in the backyard which will be immediacy followed by putting up the much anticipated swing set. I lent a little hand and raked leaves in hopes it would keep the snakes cleared out and wheeled them over to the brush pile. I worked all day on it Saturday, and I'm still not finished. Huh...leaves...guess that's the price you pay for having a shaded backyard...who knew? I keep looking everyday for Princess' curriculum to come, but they're taking their sweet time...probably since I didn't pay the extra bucko's to express ship them. Yes, I'm cheap, yes, I continue to complain. We are really bulking up the school work, so hopefully she'll be completely finished by mid July so she can have a little break. But I won't cry if it's the beginning of August and we're still plowing through. She's right on track.

I found our bread maker in the bottom of oblivion last week. I thought it was broken. Silly me! It's not. So guess what I've been "making"...because it isn't really making, it's throwing ingredients into a magical machine and going to read a book, every night. Tonight was 9 grain bread. Not only do we have a delightful snack to munch on throughout the evening with some tea and honey, during the day with some almond butter smeared on it, with our dinner to sop up sauce...my house has never smelled this good.

Next Wed. is the community supper, and as of last Sunday, I'm the only one signed up to bring desserts...hum...

Oh, I hear him coming down the hallway...back to baby blanket making. Hopefully I'll have Delilah back soon to post pictures.

To Latin or Not To Latin

2009-05-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

That is the question. I posted this question on my homeschool forum and they all told me the huge benefits of teaching Latin. They didn't realize they were telling this to a girl who took 4 years of spanish and can barely say hello. Thank you public school. One of the girls suggested THIS program. It's priced great, and it sounds like an easy transition into Latin. Did you know 40% of the english language is from Latin? Another 40% from Greek, and 20% from other various languages, most of which derive from Latin. So, we'll give Latin a shot this year I think with this program, and if all goes well, after another couple of years we may ease into Greek as well. Do I love homeschooling??? You bet your bottom I do!

Decisions Decisions

2009-05-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

It happens every year. I was going to try to avoid it this year, but low and behold, it happened anyway. Time to start planning curriculum for next year. I had my heart all set on Lifepac, then when I went to the convention and got my hands on their products, I wasn't as thrilled as originally planned. Then I went to several more tables and was immediately overwhelmed. I loved the My Father's World history program, so I thought that was the route to go. I bought, almost the entire years worth and was pleased with it. Then as I was sitting waiting around to see if I'd won any of the silent auction items I'd bid on (*tear*...I didn't) I browsed the christian light table. Oh my. I loved what I saw. Even a fellow shopper began chatting with me about the books she and her kids read and how much they loved the stories. Dang it. Now my heart was really torn. It is mostly workbook based, very much like Lifepac, but waaay cheaper. It's actually produced by the Mennonite church (obviously none of the views are expressed, but extremely conservative material, which I love). And the cute little Mennonite couple and children running the booth were so friendly and helpful. Dang it again!!! So I bought a couple of the read alouds, took a catalog, and fretted about my purchase the entire drive back. So, last night, before I boxed up the My Father's World books to ship back, I got back on their site one more time. Oh yeah...THAT'S why I liked it. It really does seem like a great little curriculum year. But, this morning, I showed them both to Princess, told her money wasn't an issue, just to pick which one she thinks she would like the best. She pondered for awhile and finally said, "I wish the geography part was with the workbook group, that would be perfect." Man I love that kid. I was going to use the geography lesson no matter what she picked. It focus' on a state a day, and has some great activities to go along with several of them. I said that was a great idea, and so dies my anguishing over it for next year. I will supplement another language and spelling as well because those are her struggle points, I am also getting a book list ready, and I'll be writing out the comprehension questions (I'm going to create the schedule for all 36 weeks this year BEFORE school instead of a week before...smart eh? wish I'd done that every other year) but I think we've got a pretty good idea which direction we're going to go in. Geez...why didn't I just consult her to begin with? Live and learn. You think I have such a hard time deciding now, I can't imagine how hard it's going to be when I'm buying for two!

No Pearls Of Wisdom

2009-05-18T19:42:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to a homeschool convention and got lots of great resources. I always like to pick up a couple of books for myself. One book I found was titled: Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. My assessment of this book in a bit. I must preface this with what I later found out about this couple.

THIS is their website...please don't linger too long. It could taint your brain or make you throw up or both. They highly endorse using corporal punishment on children. After reading several of their advice to these poor people I couldn't take any more. There was one woman who wanted to know how to make her 18 month old sit still in church. First off, what parent would make their poor 18 month old sit still in church??? They have nurseries at church for a reason. Anyway, their wonderful assessment was to create the church scenario at home, and when the toddler "acts up" to then spank them...with probably the plumbing tubes they suggested you keep in each room of your house, car. And no, I don't endorse corporal punishment. I had my butt whacked plenty of times when I was younger, and all it did was make me fear and resent the person whacking. The last thing I want is my precious ones fearing me. I discipline, and expect to be obeyed, but choose to do it without scaring my babies.

Okay, now on to the horrid book:

Truly there are some helpful nuggets in here, but they were almost completely lost on me because by the middle of the book I had had enough of her self-righteous and harsh criticisms. There was a great lack of love for women in general, her sisters, in this book. I am very hard to insult and my feelings don't get hurt easily, I am a lover of the truth and appreciate the need for the truth to be told, and sometimes we need to have someone to "shake" us out of our sin, but this was hard for me to read. Everything is woman's fault. Everything. If there is a problem in your marriage, it's your fault. If your husband has a sex addiction it's because you aren't doing your your job. If he's "being a jerk", it's because you aren't setting the right tone in the home. Something that really bothers me is her abuse of the Bible at times. She had said that David's sin of adultery would have been prevented if Bathsheba hadn't bathed on the roof... well, let's pretend that the God didn't actually say that it was David's fault (through Nathaniel). Let's pretend that it wasn't the custom in those times to bathe on the roof, the only place that had privacy in homes those days. I am not saying they she didn't bear any of the responsibility, because she did, but I am appalled at how that scenario was turned so that the Pearls could prove just how evil women are. Another thing that really bothered me was the twisting of Deborah. She actually used this story as proof that it is shameful - SHAMEFUL! - for women to lead at all. Who was ashamed? Certainly not God, for He had delivered the victory into the hands of a woman (Jael) because of Barak's ungodly response to Deborah's instruction! I don't know if his response ("I will not go unless you are with me") is cowardly or scoffing her, I haven't figured that out, but it is obvious that God was displeased with BARAK, not Deborah. Also, she is great at advising women to go to their husbands with their emotional needs and I wholeheartedly agree, but warns that spending too much time with women and getting close may result in you becoming a lesbian (she didn't use that word, but she definitely alluded to it, I would get the direct quote but I threw the book away as soon as I was done.) Jesus said that the world would know who we are by our love for each other, and he didn't seem at all worried that a deep love for fellow sisters or brothers would become something unnatural perverted. There was some advice that was given that absolutely scared me. One was advising women who were feeling pain during intercourse to suck it up meet your husband's needs... Ladies, if you are feeling pain during sex GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! Any pain during what is a normal bodily function means that there is something wrong, not that you need to deny yourself, merrily pretend there is nothing wrong and get through it. Another thing that bothered me is a woman was confessing that her husband was breaking into cars and having her stand guard. Debi's advice was to call the cops and turn him in...not that I disagree with that, but what about going to her husband and asking him to confess and come clean himself, allowing him the opportunity to do the right thing? How about confessing herself since she was helping? These would be Biblical and Godly instructions. Another thing - and this is the last one, I promise - she instructs women to visit their husbands in jail who have molested their children... and to bring their molested children with. There is a time for forgiveness, there is a time for confronting your offender, and yes he is their father, but this turned my stomach and it's in knots writing this. Making an innocent child visit and pretend everything is okay with the man who tarnished and stole their innocence... Don't bad mouth the man, but don't bring him jailbait either. And - okay, I do have one more - I grew tired of her using scare tactics to get the reader to do the right and (in her mind) "godly" thing by your husband. He will have an affair if you don't do this. He will leave you for someone else if you don't do that. You know what? I love God, and I love my husband and I serve both out of reverence for God because it is love that drives me, it is joy, it is security in my faith and in my God. I know He will take care of me and I desire Him above all else... (though a healthy dose of the fear of God is good). Having said all of this, I will say that I agree about serving, I agree we need to consider others before ourselves, and we especially need to consider our husbands above ourselves. Her take on the Command/Steady/Visionary man was interesting and informative; I did take a little away with me. But I will have to leave the rest. Women weren't created to be doormats - created for men, yes, but to complete them, not to be subservient - most of all created for God. We were made for men because they are incomplete alone - they are perfectly capable of living by themselves and taking care of themselves, but what they need from us is REAL unconditional love, devotion, respect, honesty and to be and give what they cannot. My husband doesn't want me fearing him, and God wants my joy, not my fear of what will happen if I screw up next - that is the devil's playground. They need a suitable partner, not a subservient one. One size does not fit all in marriage, as all people were made differently with unique gifts, abilities, talents and weaknesses. We make up for each other's weaknesses and build each other's strengths. God loved Hagar and was with her as He with David... God loves all His creation, men and women alike, and I couldn't help but feel that the Pearls are not teaching we are all valuable to Him and women are somehow the worst sort of evil. That may be proven by the fact that at the end of the book they advertise tapes for husbands, but they dissuade women to listen to them so they won't manipulate and use it against their husbands. I will stay away from anything else by the Pearls like it's the Plague nor will I ever recommend this to anyone else.

Just as a side note, the Greek word for "help-meet" came from is "ezer ke-negdo" which literally means "rescue, to save" and "to be strong; power". God would not create something weak, insignificant and subservient for His greatest creation of all: Man.

She Won!!! She Won!!!

2009-05-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

First Philly to win the Preakness since 1924. My hero! Great job Rachel!!

Summer Time & The Livin's Easy

2009-05-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

Ahhh....it felt ssssoooo good to get outside after being cooped up and miserable all week. I can't think of anything worse when you feel bad, (other than having to take care of kids of course) than it being beautiful outside and inside you're feeling like a thunderstorm. This morning we hit a yard sale and I hit the jackpot! I got all this yarn, patterns, and fat quarters for a mere 15 bucks! I could have gone way crazier than I did, but luckily, I have space restraints...which makes me have wallet restraints as well. After that delightfulness we ventured to the park where we fed the ducks and geese, Tadpole fell into a mud puddle mere seconds after we arrived, and then they played, and played, and played until they wore this recovering sicky plum out. There was a little stream rushing and we had fun playing in it. Princess kept "losing" her flip flop down the little waterfall and had to keep going down to recover it. Here are pictures of projects I've been working on as a gift for my mommy (who was sick this week as well, so we still haven't celebrated mother's day), it's a dish towel (see the rose) a matching rose bookmark, and another dish rag on my needles that is going to be a daffodil. Okay, time to put the little monster to bed. Tomorrow I head down to Searcy for the big homeschool convention. I'm looking forward to it, except the drive down alone...yuck.

A Day in Review

2009-05-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling better today...thank goodness. My cough is still here, my voice is still missing, but I FEEL better. I felt good enough to do some laundry, ick, make a pot of chicken and dumplings, yum, and bake a chocolate cake, triple yum. While I was scurrying around in the kitchen, (that's right, I can scurry) I tripped over this enormous cat of mine at least 5 times. I also saw this little cow of Tadpole's in the living room and saw a surprising similarity. Do you see it? Uncanny.

There is a door in the kitchen that leads to the back deck, and a door on the back deck that leads to the garage. I had the kitchen door open so Tads could come and go as he pleased then it got suspiciously quiet. I looked around the deck where I could suddenly hear him but not see him. He was making the...Mmmm noise so I immediately got worried. No worries, he was just sitting in the garage eating some bird seed. I can't say I'm really that surprised. It looks a lot like some of the stuff I buy at the natural food store.

And finally we have Princess. Who bounds into the kitchen and is all ready to lend a hand, only to leave when I start the actual work and returning again just before I put the chocolate dishes in the sink. Give that girl an Emmy!! Her timing is always spot on.

So that was my, albeit, uneventful day in review. I'll tell you what wasn't uneventful, LOST last night!!! Did you see it??? Did your heart almost beat out of your chest like it did mine?? Did you find Jacob to be surprisingly and strangely attractive?? Argh! Only one more season left. It makes my heart sad.

You Go Girl!

2009-05-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

Have you heard the fuss about this little filly? She is slated to take on the big boys this Saturday and I can't wait to see how this chicky does. Her name is Rachel Alexandra and she is incredible. She is going up against fellows like Mine That Bird who won the Kentucky derby. I always love it when a girl has a leg up, and all eyes will be on this little lovely this weekend at the Preakness. Will you be watching???? Let's hear it for the girls!!!!

Here's a picture of Mine That Bird. A big handsome fella for sure. But I think he's met his match with lovely Rachel. Can't wait to watch him eat her dust!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

2:00a.m.

2009-05-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up around midnight scratching everywhere. I was afraid I had broken out in a rash (I have had fifths disease and am always waiting for it to strike again) but it appears I just got bit, a lot by some bed bug. I have been sitting here waiting for an ill stomach to subside. I think it actually will. So I've been making rounds on blogs, snuggling with my Lizzie dog, coughing, catching that sick chill, listening to my husband and baby boy in the bedroom together snoring in a sing song fashion wishing I was in between them doing the same. But I'm not. I'm here, with you. Reading about Tasha, ordering some books of hers online for the children. Pumpkin Moonshine will be delivered next week and tucked away for Halloween. I adore Tasha Tudor and how during her whole life she wished she lived in the 1830's...she thought that was the best era to live in. She passed away last year in June. And now it's 2:25 and I've only written a short paragraph. Hum...I think I dozed off for a second, (that tells you a lot about my writing eh?) Okay, I'll go give that sleep thing another go round. Thanks for the company!

Some Time In The Garden

2009-05-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

Every person that is dwelling in this house today is sick. Princess is holding up the best out of all of us. But I couldn't stand living room another second, so I just spent 40, yes, 40 minutes sucking up every bit of lint, hair, fuzz, food morsel I could find and couldn't find, shook out everything that could be removed and shaken, and now can breath a little easier. After I was done, while we waited on our gourmet lunch of frozen spinach pizza to warm, I sat outside with my camera and a glass of ice tea. This is what my camera captured in the garden. Princess was horribly stressed out about those flowers because Tadpole was picking and putting some in the bird bath. I'm in utter shock those flowers are even blooming. They were planted last year in that pot, and survived the cold front last year, the cold fronts this year, and still decided to bloom for us again. Thank you beauties! Tadpole doesn't feel well at all today, but he can't just sit there when the front door opens...he sprints on those short little chubby legs and is hard to catch. As you can tell by the last picture, he tries hard to walk alone down a dusty road. Again, hard to catch that little booger. Especially when your lungs are near collapse. Enjoy my little garden gnomes. Glad I grabbed what I could...looks like rain could fall at any moment. Fall down!!!

When Did It Change?

2009-05-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

First, a little recap before I begin my originally scheduled post. I had to share with you what my dear son shared with me! I was in the bathroom washing my hands for 1.5 minutes, I came into the kitchen, opened the laundry room, and this is what greeted me. That box was brand new, I had only done one load with it. It was also the big family size. Tads must have overheard me mentioning to hubs that after I finished that box I was going to see how well homemade detergent worked and how much money it would save. Thanks for the thought tads! Unfortunately this isn't terribly economical either. So, after Princess and I stood there with our mouths agape, I took a picture, tads came back to the crime scene, this time with a truck that he drove through the...what I can only guess was a snow terrain? Princess was a doll helping me salvage what I could, and we had an interesting experience dumping water on the floor and scrubbing it. On the bright side, the house smelled fresh and clean all day!

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled post. I'm still not myself, but I can't stand to sit another day, so I'm doing as much as I can without overdoing it. Tads had a rough night last night, not sure why. I think he was overly tired, his chest probably hurt like mine does from coughing so much and hard. Every time he would cough it would wake him up, and if someone wasn't there he would squall. So, we kept him home from church today, something I hate doing, but felt it necessary. I sent hubs to town for groceries for the week and tads and I are lounging and snuggling.

My little girl isn't here because one is enough when I'm still crippled, but the sweetie did call me to wish me a happy mother's day. I declared it just another Sunday, and we would celebrate some day this week...she liked that idea.

I haven't gotten my mother's day gift, but my hubby ordered it last night. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! I'm wondering at what point we went from THIS type of gift to THIS gift? I love them both, but I guarantee I'll get more use out of this years gift and maybe enjoy it a bit more. Anything that makes my day to day life easier is priceless.

Happy mother's day mommy and all other mommies out there, step mommies, grand mommies, aunt-mommies, and mommy figures!!! I'll post my mommy's present I've been tirelessly working on after she gets it. Enjoy THIS fellow mommies who also understand that every day is mother's day.

Just Call Me Granny

2009-05-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here, in my rocking chair, wrapped in an afghan, knitting, with a heat pad on my aching back. Oh great, now my glasses just slid down my nose...perfect. I don't know what is wrong with my poor aching back. It's my lower back, and sweet husband barely touched it last night and I wanted to scream. I can tell the second the advil wears off. I don't know if I pulled something or what but man...ouch. So, I implored, no, I cried on hubs to please help me out with the boy. I really struggled yesterday taking care of them both..especially Tads since he requires me to lift his ever so hefty self for kisses and snuggles. I also have the chest ick that my daughter was sweet enough to give all of us except hubs. Thanks sweets. So, I just peaked out the window and hubs was riding around on the lawnmower with Tadalicious, and now they are burning the big brush pile and Tads is throwing in limbs to help. What a guy. I have an amazing couple of pictures to show...but the thought of getting up, getting my camera and cord are about to make me cry. So, back to knitting and practicing my golden years while still 27.

Why I'm Not Allowed Out Of The House

2009-05-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

It's a rare day indeed when I get to go Tadpole free ALL day. I knew I was going to get at least the morning, maybe more if I played my cards right of freedom, er, a break. The day began with an a.m. shopping trip with my friend Sonia. She is the one chosen to be president at Treehouse, so we will be working together quite a lot this coming year. What better way to kick it off than with shopping eh? I adore her. She is my age, (yippie), has the funnest, sweetest personality. She gracefully handles three boys, (one of which is a newbie to the world and I could eat him whole he's so beautiful and sweet). So, we shopped, giggled, I got to touch the heavenly soft hands of her baby, then I was lost...er...alone again. I called hubs to see what they were up to, they were on their way home. I just wasn't ready to go home yet. So, where does a girl go when she wants just a few more moments of sweet freedom? Why, hobby lobby of course! I went to get some more yarn for the project I'm working on, and since I'm still in the midst of sewing lessons I thought I'd cruise by the material and patterns section. Hark! All Simplicity patterns are only 99 cents! Do you know how much those cost regularly? The cheapest would have been twelve bucks! So I loaded up. Mostly I got easy skirt patterns for me, but I also found a mom/daughter apron pattern, and pj's for both kiddos. I also bought some material for my first skirt :) So, even though I'll probably be back with my miniature ball and chain, I will still probably head up to mommies to finish his pants so I can get goin' on my skirt! So, after walking in with my bulging bag of goodies and seeing his bulging eyes at my bulging bag, (okay, enough with the word bulging) I remembered why he keeps me locked in with the monster. Then I flashed the porterhouse steak I bought him for dinner and the world righted itself again. I love you hubby!!! Thank you for the break!

Just Call Me Sarah

2009-05-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

Palin that is. What? You REALLY think I'd want you to call me Joe Biden??? Get real. No, call me Sarah, because I've been asked to be the vp of my daughter's homeschool co-op officially from Ms. President herself. Even though it's truly a loss and a tragedy that we're losing our brilliant, talented, how the heck does she do all this with such grace with 5 kids founder/leader to the crazy state of California, I'm excited to see this new chapter of Treehouse begin and watch it flourish. We are going to begin to simplify things greatly to make things easier on everyone, and hopefully bring the cost down so more families that wouldn't otherwise be able to join us. I'm just thrilled that the show will go on because it must and that I get the opportunity to play a part in it. It's so important to our little family that Treehouse remains. It's been another soggy, dreary one today. Perfect to knit, nap, read, whatever your heart leads you to do. Here I am knitting...ah...such a relaxing activity, except for this horrid strain in my neck...wonder how that happened?

Down Came The Rain

2009-04-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Ah...I do love spring rains. It has been raining off and on all week. Today it was all rain...the sun took a day off and it was so refreshing. The first day we got to stay home all day this week. I unpacked a little, did chores a little, knitted some, played with small ones...ah...I have been waiting for this day all week! I finished the scarf I was working on for Princess earlier than expected. Tadpole...sweet guy, threw my ball of yarn, then some how mangled it into knots so we had to call it good. Princess didn't mind...she loves it all the same.There is hope!! He is really starting to enjoy his books. He can get really involved in some of them...it's so cute! We may have another little bookworm yet :)

Proof we probably go to drive through too much. He has this down to a science.
Scarf modeling. Enjoy these poses.

Hum...another project underway...could this be a mother's day gift?? Me thinks...YES! What could it be? Stay tuned!

Head Start

2009-04-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

On the terrible two's that is. Oh this child of mine. My mother always use to say when I was being the pesky teenager that one day I'll be, "Payin' for my raisn'"...and boy...was she ever right! Paying and THEN some. In fact, I think the debt is covered...easy street please? No? Darn. He is exhausting me. He is incapable of behaving...as in, he is NOT capable! He could care less if he gets swatted, he could care less if I crumple in a heap on the floor and cry from exhaustion and frustration, he could care less. He will take it...to the limit...one more time, every time. From the minute his beautiful head raises from his pillow the the second he FINALLY is still in the evening we are butting heads. There are, of course, those beautiful glimmer of moments when he will cuddle in my lap for a story, play happily with his sister (oh, their current relationship, another blog post completely), actually eat the food I put in front of him instead of climbing out of his high chair to proceed to climb on top of the table to eat my food. But they vanish rather quickly. Ah, I do love the boy, and I know everyone says, "Cherish these days because too soon they'll be out of the house"....woah...really???? Okay, I do cherish these days...but terrible twos? Have ya noticed they're called TERRIBLE??? I won't shed a tear when they're gone...unless it's one of joy. Have I mentioned he isn't even two yet? Sigh.

Okay...some little sub-posts here since I've missed a day or two. First is I was directed to a local knitting store by a complete stranger in hobby lobby the other day. I was minding my own business, looking, (drooling) over yarn when this gal came up to me and started rattling off the joys of making socks. She opened her purse to show me the current ones she was working on. Noticing her round needles which I couldn't find anywhere, I inquired where she got them. She said she purchased them at Knit Wicks, the local knitting store! Hum...intrigued. She told me about some of their classes, that they are open late on Thursdays and lots of women go there to knit and vent, (where do I sign?) and they sell the most amazing yarn. Next thing I know her foot is mere inches from my face, I look at her startled and she said, "Feel." Um...I don't really make it a custom but I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I reached out and touched her sock. Yup, it felt pretty much like I expected it would. Before I knew it she was off, talking as she walked away, "I hope to see you there on Thursday." Sure am glad she hadn't knitted her underwear.

I was able to sneak away for a few hours and spend the afternoon with my two best gals. My mommy is teaching me to sew, (yippie!) and this Sunday was my first lesson. I had lots of fun, mild brain overload, but I enjoyed it. I'm working on...well...they were originally suppose to be shorts for Tadpole, but they're turning into pants. Funky, cool, Hawaiian looking pants :) Princess is working on a quilt piece that she will turn into a pillow. She had so much fun working on it and has already asked when we're going back so she can work on it some more. My mom also gave me my birthday present early. A new sewing machine!! Woo hoo!!! I've already named her Patricia. She's a lovely little thing...mostly white with light sea foam green accents. Ah...a sight to behold.

Okay, I'm off to bed. I fell asleep with him when I put him to bed at 7:30, then woke up at 10:30 to take a shower, and he woke up! So, I had to lay back down with him until 12:00....sneak out, shower, blog, and steal some sleeping kisses from my husband's handsome little sleeping head. Tomorrow is the meeting at Treehouse, I'm anxious to hear all that will be decided and discussed. I'm really looking forward to the fall semester....even if there is a LOT to do. Okay, sleepy pants. Kisses!!

~Culture Club~ RUSSIA

2009-04-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

We had our Russia culture club the other day. It was nice. I didn't feel very good that day, and Princess was a grump because she hadn't slept well the night before. We also had several incidents just trying to leave the house (Tadpole got into the fridge, broke several eggs on the floor, bumped his head, we both sat in the kitchen floor and had a good cry for about 5 minutes). So, the morning was rough, but once we arrived things got better. The presentations were really interesting. Princess got to borrow items that her Poppy brought back from Russia. She was so cute explaining what she could then giving me "the look" when she needed my help. She summed it all up with this statement, "....and these are all things from Russia that we borrowed from my mother's father." Bawhahah....what a loony bird. Then towards the end of the time I started to feel extremely ill, so we had to go home where I got sick...blech. But I'm all better, and Russia is a super interesting place. I'm really looking forward to next month's study on Native Americans...this includes South America (Inca's and Aztecs). This culture is near and dear to my heart since I am, after all, one of 7 Indian Princesses :)

And The Beet Goes On

2009-04-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

What happens to all these ingredients when you throw them in a pot and dance a "kalinka" while cooking? You have the poplar, Russian, beet based soup "borscht". There were SO many different variations out there on the Internet so we went with what seemed like perhaps the most authentic, but easiest. They have them with or without meat. This particular one called for lamb, but we couldn't find any at wal-mart (go figure) and I didn't want to make a trip out to the meat market...so we settled for regular ol' cow. This was my first experience cooking with beets. First of all, what a beautiful vegetable once you peel and start slicing into it.

I had my helper there to peel the tomatoes, onion, and two beets. Then She said she was "exhausted" and needed a break. The only time she came back to the kitchen was to gather the spare beet stalks to make a craft.
But don't fret, I had another helper arrive right after she left. He loves lettuce and apparently thought this was that. Leaned over and took a big bite.

Huh...that didn't taste quite like you thought it would huh Tadalicious?

This is what Princess was working on for me while I was laboring in the kitchen. She brought it to me and said, "I call it...beet flowers." Thanks love...now do the dishes.
Hubs is taking his middle son out for dinner tonight, so i get to sample the borscht. The recipe suggested putting a dollop of sour cream with some fresh dill on top. It was so delicious!!! If I didn't have to share it tomorrow I would go back for seconds! Such a hearty meal. I'll stop tomorrow before culture club and grab a loaf of sourdough for dipping. I may make a variation of it for myself. Minus the beef (my teeth are weak and it's hard for me to chew...no matter how tender)...just the veggies, or add chicken...I wonder how that would taste? Fabulous dish. Defiantly NOTHING I would have attempted to try, let alone make on my own. So glad we're doing Russia/Ukraine this month! Opened my culinary eyes to yummyness.

We Got Our Earth On

2009-04-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

Earth day is one of my daughter's favorite holidays. Okay, every holiday is my daughter's favorite...but she really does get pumped about this one. She came bounding into my bedroom this morning, (ya verily I say unto you...I am NOT a morning person) and in her sing song voice said, "Mom..it's earth day. Get up, what are we going to do to celebrate?" *Groan*..."Good grief Princess, it's 7 in the morning, please let me at least open my eyes and get out of bed first." "Weeeeelllllll......what are going to do?? Just throw trash on the ground and pick it up?" I couldn't help but snicker at that one under the covers. But no, we decided to venture to the local square where there were some festivities going on. There were some informative booths that I would have liked to linger at. One was the university agriculture department showing how to plant with these terracotta type ball things with flowing water underneath. I was trying to listen as he explained how it worked to another lady as Princess was saying, "Come on mom" and Tadpole was yanking on his little monkey leash. There really wasn't much to it, but Princess did get a little sapling and we went home to plant it. Enjoy the view.Even before breakfast she was making this art piece. She molded it and painted it. I call it...Earth. Pretty deep eh?
It was so HOT today!!! That was another reason we didn't stay too long. I didn't plan on the intense heat and didn't bring sunscreen. These little fair friends of mine would burn to a crisp in no time. Please note the earth friendly water bottle in her pocket.

He would have dove in if I'd let him.
This was a representation of the amount of plastic bags a family of four goes through a year. Pretty crazy! Linen bags are looking better and better all the time.
She won a yo yo for being so good at the reduce/reuse/recycle bean bag toss. Way to go Princess!!!

The doves they were going to release. Princess was very concerned about the ones in the basket. I assured her they would be out soon and off to find an olive tree.

Tadpole stopped in the midst of the crowd and pointed at this puppy this kind lady was holding. She was sweet enough to let the kids pet the little guy.
If this ain't a redneck, I don't know what is. Yes mom, I know...he's got that stupid thing in his mouth...I'm trying to wean him from it...only using it for nap and bedtime. But he had just gotten up from his nap so I hadn't snatched it yet. Okay, back to my redneck, please notice the arm positioned perfectly in truck driver fashion, the bottle he loaded in the trunk, and some gravel rocks. He's good to go on a full tank of Tadpole power.

Ah...I'm lovin' the teamwork here. Princess at the shovel, Tadpole making the ground soft enough to dig. Arkansas and it's rocky rocky soil.
Cutest pair in town.

Alright. Time to plant her tree! It's a red oak. She has yet to name it. While she is thinking of a name...we are to call it "Tree". Appropriate.

In the soil! We can thank Tadpole for the little swimming pool he made for it. I did find dry soil to soak it up. "Tree" should be just fine.

Oh hey, there I am, complete with dirt on my face. We also planted a little herb garden. Basil, Thyme, Dill, and Parsley. Yummy!!!

HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!

The Fruits Of Our Labor

2009-04-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

Everything isn't unpacked, furniture isn't all put up and it it's spot, windows need pretty dressing (gasp! Naked windows!) But I just couldn't wait until then to show you the house so far. I also wanted to share my two knitting projects :) After I finish the practice piece I'm working on, I found a relatively easy pattern to try to make a scarf for Princess. She picked out this crazy, funky yarn and it scares me. But I'm anxious to see if it'll work.

My sweet step mom has sent me some really great ideas to faux this room using the rag technique. We're thinking a muted gold color to lighten it up a bit. It doesn't bother me quite as bad with the bright artwork on the walls though. So when I can look at a can of paint and not feel queasy we'll give it a go!

I'll take another picture of this room when it is all put together. We have completely different furniture for it, so even though we didn't newly paint this room, it will look considerably different.

My favorite room in the house :) That painting above the bed my dad bought for my room when I was a girl still living with him. He said I could pick out any painting and I chose that one. I love it. It's called "Tears in a bottle". He wasn't using it and was sweet enough to let me use it. Thanks daddy!!!

I dropped a lot of stitches...but I'm proud of it considering I had no clue what I was doing. It turned out really long. So I'm using it as a horizontal runner on my end table with my lamp sitting on it. It adds such a subtle, homey touch.

I love the colors. That green accents the green wall so well.

I'm going to try to make some dishtowels soon.

Because They Know I'm The Dummy

2009-04-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

I got stuck the other night with my knitting. I was experimenting with a new stitch and couldn't get it to come out right. So while waiting on our table at my favorite restaurant, Mimi's, Princess and I (because we're the only ones who like to read in this family) headed across the street to Boarders. She skipped along to the chapter books (what ever happened to just story books? sigh...more signs of growing up) and I snuck over to the craft section where I picked up the Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting. Ahh...perfect. As I sat waiting for Princess to hurry up and just pick a book already, I skimmed through this book that was a virtual wealth of knowledge and easy to understand diagrams and instructions. So, despite the way to expensive, I can't believe I just paid full price, this is my splurge for at least 3 weeks, price tag, I bought it, came home, gave that old nasty stitch a try again and voila! Perfectomundo! It's looking really good. Even my husband, who knows how uncrafty and inpatient I am when it comes to all things artistic was impressed that I finally figured it out. So, thanks to the complete idiot's guide books and author's. As long as there are idiots like myself out in this world, you'll have a working market.

What's The Dealy Oats??

2009-04-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

I suppose beginning a 365 day photo challenge mere hours before my camera was packed away and moving has consumed my everyday...wasn't the most brilliant idea of my life ;-) I'll get back on the wagon again. For now...you must endure my ramblings because I just can't stay away! I like you!...I like you A L O T.

The house is coming together flawlessly. The insurance adjuster came out today and should be cutting us a check within a week. Now I get to shop for a new front door...fun!

I don't know if it's because I'm back in the woods, around so many people that are connected with nature and gardens, lots of water since we're back by the lake...but the second we moved back in I immediately began monitoring my sugar intake. Mostly because I was feeling sluggish and having many belly aches. I was astounded at my sugar intake as of late. When only a year ago sugar was barely in my diet at all. Remembering that and how much better I felt, I decided to cut sugar...not completely out...I can't live without a sweet tea a day, with sugar and none of that fake stuff. But cut down considerably. And since lot's of fresh veggies will soon be available from local farmers, that makes my heart go pitter patter.

So Princess and I ventured to the natural food's store for just a few items. Holy Cow!!!! Can someone, ANYone please tell me why healthy living is so darn expensive? No wonder we're the most obese country in the world when you can get a bag of chips for 3 bucks, but 2 tomato's are closer to four! These tomato's I'm referring to are organic. Another group that confuses me. If you're cutting out pesticides, shouldn't it be cheaper? And the milk at this place, MY WORD! For one gallon it was nearly $8. I had to buy milk because Tadpole was out and I didn't want to make another stop, so I found the cheapest half gallon I could find. It was packaged beautifully and had a picture on it...a quaint little scene of a horse drawn carriage through an olden town. The brand was Farmer's Creamery, an enticing little name. It bragged that all their cows were grass fed only, and it was pasteurized on a very low setting. Again...shouldn't that be cheaper??? So why the $4 sticker price for a half gallon?? Okay, on to the reason we came to this store in the first place, almond butter. The natural foods store down the street from my house has a puny little bulk section and no almond butter to be found, not even jarred. So I like to stock up. So I grinded my almonds...filling the container just as much as possible, and headed over to the dried fruit. Okay, this is where I really wanted to vomit. My favorite snack is dried bananas dipped in said almond butter. For one, small pouch of dried bananas...you ready for this? $5.75!!!! All I could do was stand there stunned. For dried bananas people. Then I went for the second reason I came. All mighty wal-mart has stopped selling my granola. I have almost wept in every 5 different cereal isle's I have gone too and looked in. They had it at this store but with blueberries, and a hefty price tag. Discouraged I went back to the bulk section to see if they had plain granola there. Nope. But I saw steel cut oats, for *hark* a reasonable price a pound. So I got some. Was all ready to enjoy the warm goodness this morning (no, I have no experience with these thingys) and blearily read the directions and saw that it too...GASP and hour to make!!! Where are the cherrios? I did find a way to put it in the crockpot on low so they will be ready in the morning. I've been researching them and apparently they are the perfect food. So, I will be purchasing a dehydrator soon, the last one I bought has blown out...sigh. So why all natural foods? Why so expensive? If you're all natural and whole, shouldn't you be affordable too??

Next year my goal is to start a tiny little garden. Tiny. We live by a lake, and as such a hilly, shady, rocky area...I'm not sure how well it would work....but we'll give it a go. Princess and I are also planting an herb garden next week in honor of earth day. Now THAT'S natural...and...CHEAP!

BareFootInTheBackYard

To Blog Or Not To Blog

Smooooth As Silk

They Make My World Go Round

Don't Forget To Remember

Almost School Time!!!

Happy Girl

Summer Daze

The Man I Love

The Days Go On

Rain On My Face

Wordless Wednesday

Time To Turn The Page

Damaged Again

Just The Stillness & The Hunger

Revelation

Monkey's By The Ocean

I'm Praying For You

Wordless Wednesday

Beauty To Mask The Ugly

Let The Rain Fall!

'Dis & 'Dat

Oh Child

What A Piece Of Work Is Man

Let Me Help You Find That Rock

These Are Afew Of My Favorite Things

A Wonderful Day

At Some Point Every Day...

Better Late Than Never

Sweet, Glorious Rain

Good Night To Cover Up A Bad Day

Spring In My Step

Gone But Not Forgotten

Love Is Not Selfish

Live From Orlando!

Skippity Doo Daa

Love Is Kind

Love Is Patient

I Dare Me

It's Gonna Be A Bright Sun Shiny Day!

All Better

*Blink* *Blink*

Quoth The Raven?

Just Because Something Good Ends, Doesn't Mean Something Better Can't Take It's Place

Enjoying It While I Can

Eh...Screw It

Shuttin' Her Down

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Money Changes Everything

Hot Date

She's Had Me In Stitches

Had She Been A Twig, I Would Have Snapped Her

To The Safty Of Strong Arms

Have You Hugged A Cutter Today?

A Bag Of Crap

What Chapter Am I On?

G-g-g-gayness

Memories Go In Boxes

Life Anew

Doldrums

Gearing Up

Finally Facing The Monster

Where's George?

Two Handsome Men

Big Night, Not A Single Picture

Friends & Family

Ethnic Shopping

The Show Must Go On

Happy Birthday My Cheeky Little Monkey

Verdict Is In

Lives On Hold

You're Still Here???

I Love My Job

Christy

I Love My Home...But...

A Humble Movie Review

28

Too Darn Smart

Quick Recap

To Latin or Not To Latin

Blink Blink