To Blog Or Not To Blog

...That is the question. I'm having clear moments of inspiration...but ooohhh...do I REALLY wanna lay it all out there again for the world to see???? You know my life...I've ALWAYS got something to say and plenty of words to use to say it!!!

Smooooth As Silk

And EASY as pie :) that is how our first few weeks of school have gone. We are going full steam ahead. She has plowed through her reading book and workbooks (two are finished already! Woo hoo!) we seem to be making progress in grammar (hallelujah), Bible is always an easy fun subject. We read Felicity, Catwings, and are currently reading Stone Fox. So far, they've all been hits. We are easing into spelling and so far so good. Ugh...and as I sit here typing the wimeriner next door is whining like a cow in heat. He does this EVERY morning and it makes me want to get my shotgun out. Anyway, I digress. Princess is doing fabulous, I'm doing fabulous, and Tadpole is...currently walking around in my heels..surprisingly well! I got a job yesterday, I'll be serving at a local restaurant part time, so I can still homeschool. Hopefully I'll be able to show them all my razzle dazzle, and they'll tip great so we can stay afloat. So, all in all, things are great! My family is healthy and safe, my friends are always a phone call or text away, and the majority of my family is as rude and hateful as ever! Life is as it usually is :)

They Make My World Go Round

He has gone potty several times lately! He may actually be potty trained soon! But, sometimes when I think he's being my good little boy in the bathroom, I discover this. He fills the sink with water and soap, then sits in it...fully clothed. He has done this several times...that child could live in water if I'd let him.

My "tween". I can't believe my daughter is so big :( Wasn't it just yesterday she was an infant at my breast??

He has mastered the art of posing. Thanks Tadpole.

He's still posing. And please note all the things Princess is carrying. She loads all that stuff up even to just go to the bathroom.

Pokemon card trading is serious business

Don't Forget To Remember

Lately I've been praying...a lot. Mostly my cries to heaven have been for forgiveness. The shame I feel about things I've done in my life is staggering. It makes me weep, it makes me embarrassed, it makes me feel like Eve in the garden that fateful day and hearing Father say, "Where are you?"...even though He knows exactly where I am. Very recently my prayers have shifted to the desire for clarity. I've asked to see what the friends I have loved so dearly have seen but chose to walk away from me, (not easily, very stubbornly and guiltily...but they needed to do it anyway). God heard this request and granted it. What I found was humbling, putrid, painful. I've been at His feet daily ever since, apologizing, crying out to Him for forgiveness. I found myself even asking what it was I needed to do for such a huge thing as wiping my slate clean. It was as though I had forgotten. All those times in church when we sang the invitation song, "Come just as you are" weren't ringing in my ears. All the classes we held and told the lost souls that His mercy and grace is abundant, and there's nothing you have done that can keep you from Him if you seek His face. I didn't remember. Wasn't I once a lover of God? It can happen very slowly and subtly, but it surely happened. I ended up exchanging my own philosophies and the beliefs of others for the life of God that once flourished in my soul. Sure I had been betrayed and my life was breaking apart at the seams, but I could have used that opportunity to draw closer to Him, but I backed away and blamed Him instead...and that has cost me a great price. A great price, but not my soul. I hear that Voice again, "Remember me? You knew me once. I was your greatest Love. Remember me?" Yes...I do. And I miss you more than I could ever put into words from my mouth or on paper. As it was a slow decent, so is it a slow recollection. I'm still struggling with the amount of guilt, but every day another piece of the wall I've built between myself and the Almighty comes tumbling down. No, life isn't any easier, and there is no promise that it ever will be. But instead of cursing the One I use to adore, I am now able to say:

My soul and my spirit are joyful. Just in the knowing that God is truly in control-I am in control of nothing. The only thing I am in control of is my attitude and spiritual life. I must stay humble before the Lord. I have a calm in the midst of the storm.

Thank you Jesus. It's only because of You that I have this.

Almost School Time!!!

And I couldn't be more excited! We will be trying to make up for what was missed last year, (which was a lot due to the divorce and my mental breakdown). But we are in a great spot in our lives. We discussed last week that we have a lot to make up for to get caught up to 4th grade and she's fired up and ready to go. The goal is to be caught up by Christmas...so I'm confident we will complete 4th grade by summer. Due to our obvious financial situation changing so drastically, we're homeschooling on a TIGHT budget. Michael will be taking care of math, science, and world history. I'll be taking reading, spelling, grammer, read aloud comprehension, Bible, handwriting, American history, (which will include studying all 50 states and their locations). I have a great spelling tool...a book (huge book) called Spelling Power. It actually is suppose to last for several years. For reading we will utilize some of the books she already has in her library, (which are a LOT including the entire box car children series, and the animal ark series). She will read a chapter to me a day and discuss it. Grammer is a hard subject for her, so we will start out with a language arts book I already have from McGraw Hill. For Bible we are using books from Christian Light...The Miller's series...we are working through "Wisdom With The Millers" and the work book that goes with it. Handwriting is a cursive handbook. She will also work through a primary language lesson book that is meant for dictation but we will use to practice handwriting. American history is exploring american history, and pioneers and patriots from My Father's World. I also got the cd rom game Where In The USA is Carmen Sandeago for her to practice interactivly to help teach her the states. I also got her the cd rom game Oregon Trail so she can have a more visual idea of what it was like for the pioneers. I'm so excited! Our reading list looks like this:

Stone Fox
Muggie Maggie
Chalk Box Kid
Cat Wings
Lily and Miss Liberty
Hannah
Grasshopper Summer
Finding The Titantic
Helen Keller
Beany Goes To Camp
George Washington's Breakfast

She is also going to attend my friend Lori's American Girls Class....which starts soon...and we've already dived head first into the first book Felicity. So excited! I'm also starting Tadpole on a curriculum I found online that teaches a letter from the alphebet a week, has fun songs and fingerplays to go with it. Something short and sweet, but educational to keep that little big brain stimulated. He's never been one to sit and listen to a book like his sister has always been, but he eats up any song...especially if there are movements to go with it. New school year, new opportunity to learn and enjoy being a mom to the best two creatures on the planet!!!

Happy Girl

As much as I hate relinquishing my kiddos for the weekend, it does give me some much needed and appreciated alone time. Last night I took a walk and discovered a great walking trail behind my neighborhood. There wasn't a soul out there and it was delightful to enjoy nature and talk to my Maker alone...smelling the clear air, listening to the frogs and bugs sing their chours to the coolness of the impending evening, thinking about life and where it will lead me next. I rounded a corner to see a beautiful field with a gorgeous sunset beyond the horizon. I hadn't taken my camera with me, but as a precaution I had my phone with me and was able to snap the last few minutes between day and night. Then this morning, awoke early to a gorgeous morning, and decided to hit the farmer's market before too many people got there. It's so hard to budget when I get there...I want EVERYTHING. The flowers are almost otherworldly their so beautiful, the vegetables are amazing and shiny...something you can't appreciate under the florescent lights at a mass food market. The street performers are relaxing and entertaining. Just a great way to spend the morning. I made a great little haul, and plan to make a delicious dinner this evening. Such a great life.

Summer Daze

AAhh...why is it all winter all I dream of is summer, and all summer all I look forward to is fall?? It is SO HOT, and humid, and sticky, and miserable outside. But that didn't stop us from having a great week. I had three interviews this week, no word on anything yet, but I'm still plugging away at it. I am so grateful to my babysitter who made a deal with us as far as keeping the kids only two days and charging very little. So those two days I can get my interviews in, and they can play with their friends. Even though I'm anxious to get back to work, I sure am enjoying staying home with my dynamic duo. They are so sweet, and so wonderful...I'm so blessed beyond comprehension. We went to gator golf last week, per Princess' birthday request. Tadpole tried to golf the right way for the first few holes, then gave up and would just put his ball right by the hole and putt it in. My kind of golfer. We melted, but before we puddled in our own sweat, we had great fun. I'm alone tonight, and I'm enjoying the quiet, but not that much. I'd much rather have someone saying, "momma...look momma...sissy...look sissy"..."mom...can I play on your phone? mom, can you keep bubby out of my room"....aaaahhh...that's good stuff. I do need to ask for prayers as far as Princess' schooling goes. Mike and I have a huge task ahead of us deciding whether or not to send her to public school...and with my job status up in the air, we are going blindly and completely on faith. We know the problem is already solved, I'm just ready to get to it to find out what will happen.